Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown
by gluglug
Summary: EPILOGUE UP! Future fic, set in Spring/Summer 2003. This is sort of an L/L but more of a mother/daughter story about s-e-x.
1. Default Chapter

"Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown"  
  
Chapter one: Woman on the Verge  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
A/N: This is a future fic, set in April 2003. Rory has been dating Jess for six months. Lorelai is seeing Alex, the coffeehouse guy. Luke is still dating Nicole, Taylor's lawyer. This is still sort of an L/L but more of a mother/daughter story.  
  
Summary: Lorelai discovers a box of condoms in Rory's dresser drawer and overreacts. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------  
  
It was Saturday night just after eleven and Rory Gilmore entered her empty house. Jess has just dropped her home from their date, they had gone to a nearby movie art house to see a Pedro Almodovar double feature, "All About My Mother" and "Talk to Her."  
  
Rory saw the blinking message on the answering machine and assumed it was her mom telling her she was spending the night at Alex's, as she had the past few weekends. Rory was surprised to hear Luke's bewildered voice. He didn't call their house very often.  
  
"Lorelai, it's Luke. What the hell was that little stunt you pulled tonight about? I'm hoping there is a logical, or at least a Lorelai- logical explanation. Please call me tomorrow or stop by the diner."  
  
Rory wondered what that was all about and went into her room to change into her p.j's. She was just about to get into bed when she heard the front door close. Rory got out of bed and went to greet her mother. Lorelai looked like she had seen a ghost.  
  
"Mom, you don't look well. You didn't break up with Alex tonight, did you?"  
  
"No. Alex and I are fine, I guess. I just did the stupidest thing ever."  
  
Rory nodded. "Michael Jackson dangling his kid off a balcony kind of stupid?"  
  
"Oh, no. I make Jacko look like a genius in comparison."  
  
"Hey. I'll make you some tea and you can tell me what happened. It's too late for coffee, I'm afraid." Rory went into the kitchen and put on the kettle. "Oh, and there's a really weird message from Luke on the machine. I'm sorry I listened, but I thought it was you calling to tell me you weren't going to be home."  
  
Lorelai stopped dead in her tracks. "What did he say? Did he sound mad?"  
  
"Mad? No, but he sounded perplexed."  
  
"Just great." Lorelai faced the machine with trepidation and listened to the message. Well, at least he wasn't banning her from the diner or telling her he would never serve her coffee again. She had a Lorelai- logical answer, she just wasn't sure how long it would be before she could tell him.  
  
Lorelai sat at the kitchen table and held her head in her hands. Rory placed a mug of hot tea in front of her.  
  
"So what did you do?"  
  
"I walked in on Luke and Nicole, um how do I say this? In Flagrante Delecto."  
  
Rory was surprised but not shocked. "Wow, so Luke's getting some. He does seem less grumpy these days, huh? Were they doing it in the diner?"  
  
Lorelai shook her head. "No, above the diner, in his apartment."  
  
Rory raised her eyebrows. "Mom, what were you doing in his apartment late at night? I thought you had a date with Alex tonight."  
  
"I did have a date, but my mind was somewhere else, so Alex dropped me home early."  
  
"You're not having Luke fantasies again, are you?"  
  
"No. Rory. Mommy doesn't have Luke fantasies. That was a one time deal and that dream was only Sherry envy...."  
  
"Whatever. Hey, you didn't answer my question, why were you at his apartment?"  
  
"Rory, you are gonna be really mad at me when I tell you why, so please be kind to your sick sad mother." She took a breath.  
  
"Ok, tonight when I was getting ready for my date. I wanted to wear these sparkly hair clips; they go really nice with my dress. I realized that you had them, so I went into your room and got them out of your dresser drawer."  
  
"So you went into my drawer, you do that all the time."  
  
"Yeah, but this time I noticed something unusual."  
  
"What did you see?"  
  
"A box of condoms."  
  
Rory was nonplussed. "Oh, so you found the Trojan men."  
  
"Rory, I'm sorry but I kind of flipped out. I started imagining you and Jess doing all sorts of things involving the use of condoms. And Alex wasn't helping matters. He told me that you're 18 and you're bound to have sex sooner or later...."  
  
Rory wasn't angry that her mother found the condoms but she was getting annoyed at her mother's indiscretion.  
  
"You discussed my sex life with your boyfriend?"  
  
"Well, I didn't mean to but I was preoccupied and Alex wanted to know what was wrong so I told him. And the more we talked the more upset I got so....what do you mean your sex life? Are you and Jess having sex?"  
  
"No, Mom! Not yet. And you still haven't told me why you went to Luke's, although I think I know the answer."  
  
"Well, I kept freaking out and it was getting late and you were supposed to be home and I couldn't take it anymore so I went to Luke's. His door was unlocked so I went upstairs and I listened through the door. I heard some not so innocent noises so I tried the door and opened it. I turned on the light and that's when I saw.....what I saw."  
  
Rory was incensed. "And what would you have done if you had found Jess and me instead of Luke and his girlfriend?"  
  
Lorelai shrugged weakly. "Um, I haven't thought about that yet?"  
  
Rory stood up and began to yell at her mother. "What were you thinking? I can't believe you would do something like that. Don't you trust me?" Rory wasn't finished. "And poor Luke, the guy's finally getting some and you're hell bent on ruining any chance he has."  
  
Lorelai raised her voice to match her daughters. "What do you mean, hell bent! I didn't do that to Luke on purpose! And you're not so innocent either, Britney Spears! If you're not having sex with Jus, I mean Jess, why DO you have a box of condoms in your dresser anyway?"  
  
"I'm not going to dignify that with an answer, Mom. Your behavior tonight is inexcusable."  
  
Rory went into her room and slammed the door.  
  
Lorelai stared at her half-drunk mug of tea. "Right back at ya," she muttered.  
  
Lorelai hated it when they fought and her eyes filled with tears. She considered knocking on Rory's door, but she decided to give her the night to cool off. They would make up tomorrow, she and Rory couldn't stay angry at each other for more than twenty-four hours. And as for the Luke debacle, well, she'd deal with that when she was ready.  
  
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A/N: I hope this premise isn't too outlandish or out of character. Most of the time Lorelai is a level-headed parent but occasionally she goes off the deep end and I really wanted to write a story where Rory and Lorelai face the s-e-x question head on. It's been glossed over on the show thus far. And I had to involve Luke in some embarrassing fashion. Poor guy. Blame it on the muse. 


	2. Talk to Her

"Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown"  
  
Chapter two: Talk to Her  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: Lorelai and Rory make up and have a long overdue discussion. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------  
  
The following morning, Rory woke from a fitful sleep; she never slept soundly when she and her mom were fighting. She felt cranky and was still upset with her mother. Why didn't she trust her? Rory wasn't bothered that she had found the condoms; it was her mother's reaction to it that got her so mad. Why didn't Lorelai just wait until she had gotten home last night and then have a birds and the bees talk like other families had?  
  
Rory groaned and closed her eyes, hoping for another hour's nap to sweeten her bitter mood. She had a dream that she was Rory Osbourne and Sharon and Ozzy were lecturing her about safe sex.  
  
Upstairs, Lorelai rolled over in bed and looked at the clock. It was a little after ten, time to get up. She hadn't slept well either, having dreams of reliving the embarrassment of walking in on Luke and Nicole in bed. The horrified look on his face was etched in her memory. Well at least it was his only his face, she was thankful that Nicole's head happened to be blocking her view of inappropriate amounts of Luke-flesh.  
  
All night long, Lorelai's dreams continued to disturb her. She dreamt she had found Rory in bed, first with Dean and then with Jess. Then she had the weirdest dream of all, Rory and Jess had walked in on her and Luke. Lorelai promised herself she wasn't going to share that particular dream with Rory, even after they made up.  
  
Trying to shake the dreams from her memory, Lorelai decided that she was going to apologize profusely to her daughter today for overreacting. She also promised herself they were going to have a long overdue talk.  
  
Lorelai got out of bed, and went downstairs. She knocked gingerly on her daughter's door. When she didn't answer, Lorelai peeked in and saw that Rory was still sleeping. She decided to let her sleep and put Rory's favorite coffee beans in the maker. She knew the aroma would eventually rouse her.  
  
A few minutes later, Rory emerged from her bedroom and wordlessly disappeared into the bathroom. A minute later, she approached the table and poured some of the coffee into a mug and joined her mother at the table. Lorelai was skimming through the Sunday paper while munching on a bagel.  
  
"Thanks for making my favorite coffee, Mom. The smell woke me up out of my dream."  
  
Lorelai smiled. "What were you dreaming about, hon?"  
  
"I was living with the Osbournes."  
  
"Cool! Did Ozzy snort a line of ants for breakfast?"  
  
"No, it was just like a scene out the show. Ozzy and Sharon were telling me not to drink or smoke, and if I had sex, to use a condom."  
  
"They're paragons of parenting, huh? Maybe I should take tips from them."  
  
"Crazy, but that's how it goes..."  
  
"Yeah." Lorelai chuckled. "I guess I was going off the rails on that crazy train last night, Rory. I'm so sorry for reacting the way I did."  
  
"You mean overreacting."  
  
"Well that, too. Honey, you have to know that I trust your judgment more than anyone in the world. I think what made me doubt you for a millisecond was that you haven't always been upfront with me about your feelings about the boys in your life."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, you didn't tell me about liking Dean or your first kiss back in the day until I badgered you into sharing the details with me. And with Jess, sneaking off to New York and then pretending you didn't have feelings for him. And do I have to mention leading Dean on for all those weeks...."  
  
Rory grimaced. "Okay, Mom. I get it. My judgment hasn't always been stellar when it comes to the opposite sex."  
  
Lorelai frowned. "I guess you get that from me."  
  
"Well even if we can blame it on genetics, we still have to talk about why I bought those condoms."  
  
"I'm glad you brought it up. So why did you?"  
  
"Well, I've been researching a paper on teen pregnancy for my health class. I'm exploring over the counter birth control methods, since many teen girls are clueless about prescription methods; condoms are the number one way to protect themselves. Statistics show that teen boys don't always carry protection and it's up to girls to take responsibility."  
  
"Yeah, God forbid you rely on a guy to bring his own condoms, your dad certainly didn't!"  
  
"Yeah, well anyway, I went to a drugstore in Hartford to do research and I bought a box, not really intending to use them. But I figured I might as well practice what I preach, when I decide to, um, practice."  
  
"You're so responsible and prepared, Rory. I'm proud of you. What's the expiration date on the box, by the way?"  
  
"Um, I think it said June 2006."  
  
"Well, you'll be twenty-one by then, so I think it should be okay."  
  
"Mom, I don't think I'm waiting until 2006 to have sex."  
  
Lorelai felt a sinking feeling in her stomach. They really were going to have a birds and the bees chat.  
  
"Um, Rory, so when were you thinking about it?"  
  
"Well I don't have a specific date picked out in my calendar but soon. And with Jess."  
  
Lorelai sighed. "Honey, are you sure Jess is the right one?"  
  
"Well, we've been together six months. I really love spending time with him discussing books, music and foreign films but when the talking is done, I guess I want more. And kissing and holding hands isn't enough. "  
  
"Has Jess been pressuring you at all?"  
  
"No, Mom, just the opposite. He told me that Luke threatened him that if he did anything you and he would put an end to our relationship. He's been really good and if anything I'm the one who's pressuring him."  
  
"Gee, I guess you've inherited my sex drive as well." Lorelai paused. "Then why didn't you want to sleep with Dean?"  
  
"I guess I didn't have those feelings for Dean. With him it was more like puppy love, where kissing and holding hands was enough. With Jess, it's more, oh I don't know, passionate."  
  
"Are you sure it's not just lust you're feeling? It's easy to confuse the two, especially when you're hormones are raging. Hell, I'm a full grown adult and I sometimes have trouble telling the difference!"  
  
"To be honest, I don't know. But I won't know for sure unless I sleep with Jess. I really want to. And wouldn't you rather have me be prepared and knowledgeable than clueless and pregnant?  
  
"Of course, but even condoms aren't 100% effective, they can break or be used incorrectly."  
  
"So why don't you show me? Do we have any bananas in the house?"  
  
Lorelai laughed. "Wow you really have your mind made up if you want me to give you a banana demo."  
  
"I'm pretty serious about this, Mom. And I want to do this with your guidance and blessing."  
  
"Well, I can give you my guidance but I'm still hesitant about the blessing part. You know, I think we're out of bananas. After we get dressed, let's go to Doose's."  
  
A/N: We could also have a story where L takes R to the gynecologist but that wouldn't be as much fun. And guess who they might run into at the market?  
  
Of course I had to have Lorelai have a sex dream with Luke in it. It's becoming my leitmotif, along with the tea. GGirl: Yes it's true that it's never too late for coffee but in my Gilmore universe, they must drink tea in at least one scene.  
  
Yes, each chapter will be a title from an Almodovar film. 


	3. Live Flesh

"Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown"  
  
Chapter Three: Live Flesh  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: Lorelai and Rory go to the market. Guess who Lorelai runs into?  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------  
  
An hour later, Rory and Lorelai approached the town center on their way to Doose's market. It was a lovely Spring afternoon, sunny and warm. Lorelai was happy that she and Rory had made up and were doing the mother/daughter bonding thing.  
  
"Rory, this is why I love our relationship. How many moms would take their daughters on a phallic grocery run? I mean, could you picture Lane and her mom doing this?"  
  
"Well only if hell froze over and Mama Kim thought she needed help on her wedding night to her bible thumping Korean missionary husband. Meanwhile, Lane secretly eloped with Dave six years ago and are touring with their own version of the Trachtenburg Family Players."  
  
Lorelai nodded. "With her double life, she should be a guest star on 'Alias.' They'd give her a purple wig and she could take down the bad guys with her drumsticks."  
  
Rory laughed. "Yeah, she'd love that. Hey Mom, I know you're all giddy that we made up but can you please try not to embarrass me in the store? If Dean is working there today, the last thing I want to do is rub any of this in his face, okay?"  
  
"Hey, who do you think I am, Miss Patty? She's the one who fondles the produce and makes veiled sexual references."  
  
"Yeah, have you ever seen her touch the cucumbers, the zucchini and even the string beans? The last time she was in there, she scared Kirk so much that he put down his basket and ran out of the store without hitting the checkout."  
  
Lorelai giggled. "Hey, I wonder which vegetable Kirk is."  
  
"Mom, please! The mental picture!"  
  
"Okay, I promise I'll stop. And we have other items to buy besides bananas." She fished out a shopping list and handed it to Rory. "I'll handle the produce, just in case Miss Patty is there and you can handle the packaged goods."  
  
"Okay. I trust you to pick out a nice banana bunch for me."  
  
The girls entered Doose's market. Rory looked around for Dean but apparently it was his day off or he was in the stockroom. Since they had broken up, they had tried to maintain a friendly relationship, but Rory had stopped memorizing his work schedule long ago.  
  
As planned, Rory went to the center of the store with a shopping basket to buy bread, pop-tarts and snack foods. Lorelai headed to the perimeter of the store to the produce department. She spotted the bananas and looked over the selection. She was so engrossed that she was startled to hear a familiar gruff male voice.  
  
"Lorelai, you're never in the produce section. Are you lost in the supermarket?"  
  
"Yeah, I can no longer shop happily." She said absently and looked up to see Luke standing right next to her, also surveying the bananas.  
  
"Oh, Luke, um hi," she stammered.  
  
"Hi."  
  
"Um, why aren't you at the diner?"  
  
"Well, I'm not chained to the counter, you know, Jess is watching the place. I came here for my weekly fruit and veggie run." He motioned to his basket, which was filled with a cucumber, some string beans, asparagus and a bunch of carrots. "These bananas look good, don't they?"  
  
Lorelai had to stifle a giggle. "Oh, yeah, they do." She paused. "Um, Luke I want to apologize for last night."  
  
Luke gave her a quizzical look. "Last night?"  
  
"You didn't suffer memory loss from the trauma, did you? You know what I'm referring to, right?"  
  
He looked uncomfortable. "Yeah, I remember. Um, can we not talk about it here, in the middle of Doose's?"  
  
Lorelai was relieved by his response, she didn't exactly want to have this discussion in front of the bananas, either. "Sure, but I need to explain myself."  
  
"I'm sure you do. Why don't you come by the diner tonight around closing, say nine?"  
  
"Nine, sure, no problem."  
  
"I'll see you then. I'll save you some coffee. Hey, I gotta finish my shopping before Jess burns down the diner."  
  
Luke grabbed a bunch of large bananas, put them in his basket and headed towards the health food aisle. Lorelai finally let the giggle out she had stifled.  
  
Just then Rory finished getting her items and joined her mother near the bananas. Lorelai still hadn't chosen a bunch.  
  
"Mom, I've finished my portion of the list. How difficult is it to pick out bananas?"  
  
"I was distracted."  
  
"By Miss Patty? I don't see her."  
  
"No, not Miss Patty. Luke." She motioned to the checkout, where he was standing in line.  
  
Rory turned around and saw Luke. He caught her eye and gave her a nod. She gave him a small wave and turned to face her mother.  
  
"Well, you seem to have escaped unscathed. Did you guys talk?"  
  
"Sort of. I made a Clash joke and tried to apologize but Luke didn't want to talk about it here. I'm going to the diner tonight at closing."  
  
"So you'll have it out then?"  
  
"Don't say that, Rory. The last time Luke and I had it out, we didn't talk for weeks. He said he'd save me some coffee, so I'm hoping it'll be a friendly discussion."  
  
"Then I'm sure you have nothing to worry about. Hey, here's some good ones." Rory picked up a bunch, similar to the ones Luke selected.  
  
"Yeah, Luke chose ones just like 'em. Nice and big, huh?" Lorelai giggled.  
  
Rory turned crimson. "Let's just go pay for this stuff and get out of here before you start fondling the produce."  
  
"Oh, but you should've what was in Luke's basket, cucumbers, zucchini.....I'm not having any problem picturing what vegetable he is."  
  
"Mom, stop it. You are so turning into Miss Patty. When she retires, you can take over her dance studio and role as the town she-letch."  
  
Lorelai grimaced at the thought and they headed to the checkout to pay for their items.  
  
  
  
A/N: There's a Joe Strummer tribute in here (I'm turning into Daniel Palladino, the horror). I'm afraid this story isn't really a Literati, to the reviewer who asked. I don't know how long this one is going to be yet but Jess may show up later. And notice how I worked the townies into the story without actually have them appear? 


	4. Dark Hideout

"Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown"  
  
Chapter Four: Dark Hideout  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: Lorelai goes to the diner to talk to Luke. ==============================================================  
  
Later that evening, Rory was sitting on the couch in front of the television.  
  
"Hey, Mom. 'Alias' is starting in a few minutes, if you don't get in here I won't be able to relay the complex plot twists of the opening scenes to you until 9:17."  
  
Lorelai came out of the kitchen where she had been working on her laptop computer.  
  
"Oh, please tape it for me? I'm going to Luke's to beg for clemency. Perhaps he'll let me share a cell with Irina and give me a pillow and blanket. Oh and also a personal trainer, a hairstylist, a make-up artist and a leg-waxer."  
  
"Yeah, what's the name of her prison? La Coste? Hey, what were you doing in the kitchen?"  
  
"Doing some more research on condoms. Did you know that Trojan has over fifteen product lines? The ones we used for our little demonstration probably won't do when you actually, um, practice. You should get the spermicidal Her Pleasure ones. "Well, those are my favorites anyway."  
  
Rory blushed. "I'm really happy you're supporting my decision, but you don't have to do condom research for me."  
  
"Listen to Mommy. I've road tested quite a few of them, so I can help. Also, you will promise to make an appointment with my gynecologist? I want you to be super prepared."  
  
"Yes, Mom. I'll call Dr. Lieberman tomorrow when I get home from school. Hey, the show's starting, so the television needs my undivided attention. Good luck with Luke."  
  
Rory picked up the remote control and pushed the "record" button for her mother.  
  
Lorelai put on her jacket and started to walk to Luke's. She felt a little nervous about going to see him and hoped their conversation would not end in either one telling the other to go to hell. He was actually pleasant with her in the market, but maybe he was waiting to have it out with her in private.  
  
Lorelai approached the diner entrance. The place was empty and Luke had dimmed the lights, as he usually did around closing time. She opened the door but didn't see him.  
  
"Luke, are you here?" She called out into the dim diner.  
  
A moment later, Luke appeared from the back. "Oh hey. I was just doing some inventory."  
  
"Out of pickles again?"  
  
"No, I'm fine with pickles. I'm low on coffee beans, if you can believe it."  
  
"With the amount I consume, I'm surprised you don't have to place an order every day."  
  
She approached a stool and sat down. Luke came around and sat on a stool beside her. This seemed weird to Lorelai because they never had conversations in the diner sitting side by side.  
  
There was an awkward silence and they both stared at their hands. Luke spoke first.  
  
"Um, Lorelai, I believe you wanted to explain your behavior last night?"  
  
"Cutting to the chase, huh Luke?"  
  
"Well, I don't have all night. I'd like to be in bed by eleven."  
  
"With no interruptions, huh?" She paused and took a deep breath. "I really want to apologize for what I did last night. It was inexcusable. But I do have a good reason, or at least my intentions were good."  
  
Luke looked at her. "What intentions? I hope you weren't trying to stop me from having a sex life."  
  
Lorelai recognized his bewildered tone, very similar to the one she had heard last night on her machine.  
  
"Oh, Luke! No, not at all! I hope I didn't screw things up between you and Nicole."  
  
"Well, you did sort of, um, ruin the mood and she left not long after you. But I talked to her earlier today and we're good. But she was very concerned about your behavior and frankly so am I."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well, you must've been really stressed out to come to my apartment late at night to do what you did." He paused. "I mean, are you okay, Lorelai? I mean how are you doing, really?"  
  
"Luke, you sound like Dr. Melfi."  
  
"Well, now that you bring it up, Nicole gave me the name of a friend of hers who's a psychoanalyst. She's supposed to be really good." He fished a piece of paper out of his jeans pocket and handed it to her.  
  
"Dr. Nancy Lieberman?" Lorelai wondered if she was related to her gynecologist. "Luke, you really think I need therapy?"  
  
"Well, unless you can give me a good explanation of your behavior last night, I think you should seriously consider it."  
  
"Well you have called me crazy on numerous occasions. But Luke, I have a good reason and it has nothing to do with me wanting to halt your sex life, I swear."  
  
"Okay, then shoot."  
  
"Well, it has to do with Rory. You see, yesterday I found a box of condoms in her dresser drawer and I kind of overreacted."  
  
Luke was incensed and got up from the stool. "You what? Are Jess and Rory having sex? That little sonofabitch, I told him that if he touched her below the waist I would...."  
  
"Whoa slow down, guardian of my daughter's virtue!" She paused. "Now I think you understand my overreaction yesterday."  
  
"Overreaction? So they're not having sex?"  
  
"No. Rory and I talked about it today. She bought the condoms for a research project she's working on about teen pregnancy."  
  
Luke sat down, relieved. "Now that sounds like Rory. Thank God."  
  
"Luke, don't thank our heavenly father just yet. You see, Rory told me today that she wants to sleep with Jess and I don't think she just wants to take a nap."  
  
Luke frowned. "Well, you're going to forbid it, right?"  
  
"Um, no. I've decided to support Rory in this." She sighed. "Luke, I don't want to be like my parents and forbid her from doing something she wants to do anyway. I'd rather have her prepared and doing this with my blessing than sneaking around. I don't want her to be me."  
  
"But aren't you afraid she might become pregnant?"  
  
"Of course, that would be my worst nightmare. But I'm helping her explore birth control methods so we can be pretty damn sure history doesn't repeat itself. And I'm way too young to be a grandmother, Luke."  
  
"And I don't think I'm ready to be a great-uncle." He chuckled. "But Lorelai, are you sure? I mean I laid down the law to Jess when he and Rory started dating. Don't you think an about face sends the wrong message? I mean, do I have to sit Jess down now, hand him a bunch of condoms and say, "'Here you go, free reign. Just hang a sock on the door?'"  
  
"Well, not exactly. Just explain to him that this is a big responsibility and he needs to be extra careful with my daughter."  
  
"Lorelai, I don't know if I'm ready to do that. I mean they've only been together, what six months? I still think they should wait."  
  
"Luke, I'm struggling with this too. But I don't think it's our decision to make. I didn't think that Jess and Rory would last six weeks, let alone six months. I thought he was just a phase, but I think he really cares for her. I'd rather her first time be with someone who cares, not some random guy."  
  
"He doesn't just care for her, he loves her."  
  
"What?"  
  
"He loves her."  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"He told me."  
  
"Since when do you and Jess get all sensitive male with each other?"  
  
"We don't. He just mentioned the other day something in passing about 'spending time with the girl I love' and he was referring to Rory."  
  
Lorelai exhaled. "Wow."  
  
Luke nodded. "Yeah, I know."  
  
"Luke, we gotta face facts, our kids are growing up."  
  
"Yes they are."  
  
"So are you with me on this?"  
  
Luke sighed. "I guess so. I'll talk to Jess sometime this week. I'm sure he'll be all snide and condescending about it but I think he'll appreciate the message."  
  
"You're a good dad."  
  
He chuckled. "Thanks."  
  
Lorelai looked down at the scrap of paper in her hand. "Hey, do you still think I need to call this Dr. Lieberman?"  
  
Luke got off the stool and stood in front of her. "Well, you seem to be okay now. But why don't you hang on to her number? I've always thought you needed a couch and a therapist with a deep knowledge of Freud."  
  
Lorelai nodded. "Well, maybe a session or two wouldn't be a bad idea. I have been kind of tense lately, with this Rory sex thing, her decision to go to Yale and my parents are rubbing my face in it, of course. And then there's getting the Inn off the ground and things aren't going so great with Alex."  
  
"Yeah, you've got a lot on your plate." He knew he shouldn't care but he couldn't resist asking.  
  
"What do you mean things aren't so great with Alex?"  
  
"Oh, things are okay. It's just that when we went out last night he wasn't exactly supportive to my reaction of finding the condoms. He was like 'what's the big deal? She's 18.' And then I made him take me home because I was so worried about Rory. He wasn't too happy about it."  
  
"He should've cut you some slack."  
  
"Yeah, most of the time he does." Lorelai started to rub her left shoulder. "Too bad he lives in Hartford, I could really use a neck rub right now."  
  
Luke stared down at his hands stuffed in the pocket of his jeans. Resist, resist...  
  
"Hey Luke? Would you mind rubbing my shoulder? It really hurts."  
  
Hey, it was only a shoulder. "Sure, just turn the stool around so you're facing the counter."  
  
She smiled and followed his direction. "Thanks."  
  
Luke put his left hand on her left shoulder. He began to rub his thumb in a circular motion on the muscles above her shoulder blade, while his fingertips kneaded the muscles above her collarbone.  
  
"How's that? Let me know if you want me lighten up."  
  
Lorelai hung her head forward giving the back of her neck a good long stretch. Her long curls fell forward, giving Luke a nice look at the exposed skin of her nape.  
  
"Ohh, that's good. Hey would you mind doing the other shoulder? Luke, you sure have talented fingers."  
  
Damn, she wasn't making this easy on him. "So I've been told."  
  
"Nicole is one lucky woman."  
  
Yes, Nicole, Nicole. Think of Nicole.  
  
He continued to massage her shoulders for a minute or two while Lorelai made little sighing noises of approval.  
  
"Lower."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Could you rub lower? The area under my shoulder blades is also really tense. I've been having these twinges."  
  
Luke sighed. "Lorelai, perhaps you need a see a massage therapist in addition to a shrink."  
  
"Please, Luke, pretty please? I promise after that you can stop."  
  
"You promise?" He spoke low near her left ear, sending shivers up her spine.  
  
"I promise." She nodded, hoping he wouldn't notice the gooseflesh on her neck.  
  
Luke removed his hands from her shoulders and placed them on front of her rib cage. He extended his thumbs so he was able to rub the muscles underneath her shoulder blades.  
  
"Hey, are you trying to cop a feel?"  
  
Luke rolled his eyes. "Lorelai, I'm trying to massage your shoulder blades, like you asked. I have to put my hands like this to do that. If you don't want me to continue, I'll stop right now."  
  
She giggled. "I was just teasing, silly. Please continue."  
  
Luke resumed the massage. Damn her, she was teasing him, in more ways than one. Lorelai had to know what kind of effect she had on him, Nicole or not. But he wasn't going to stop until she told him to. He was enjoying this, like all the other intimate moments they shared in the darkness of the diner.  
  
Like the time he showed her the order his father had written behind the counter and they shared a laugh and a little too long stare. He had wanted to kiss her but Taylor and the Stars Hollow lynch mob interrupted them. Luke remembered he also had his first kiss with Rachel and then Nicole back there. Had that become his patented move? Reminisce about dad, show her a touching memento and bam - get the girl? But with Lorelai, he never knew quite how to get the girl, even though she was literally in his grasp.  
  
"Okay, your fingers must be tired. You can stop."  
  
Lorelai's business-like voice snapped him out of his reverie and he reluctantly removed his hands.  
  
"Yeah, I'm tired." He sighed. "Better?"  
  
Lorelai spun around on her stool to face him, a relaxed smile on her face. "Oh, yes. Thanks so much Luke."  
  
"No problem."  
  
"You know, if you ever get tired of the diner trade, you should look into becoming a massage therapist. You could make some serious dough with those hands."  
  
"I'll keep that in mind."  
  
"Oh, I better get going." It was almost eleven. "It's almost your bedtime, Luke."  
  
He nodded. "Yeah, time to hit the sack."  
  
"Thanks for everything, the talk and the massage. I feel much better."  
  
Luke headed towards the back of the diner. "Good Night Lorelai."  
  
Lorelai headed to the diner door. "Good Night Luke, see you tomorrow."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------  
  
A/N: Yeah, I know the last part was gratuitous java junkie fluff, but I don't care! Watching TDDR last night inspired some of this.  
  
Up next, Jess and Luke have a talk. Lorelai considers going into therapy after having more disturbing dreams and, well, I haven't thought that far ahead... 


	5. What Have I Done to Deserve This?

"Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown"  
  
Chapter Five: What Have I Done to Deserve This?  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: Luke has a chat with Jess about the birds and the bees. =============================================================  
  
It was Tuesday night around ten. Luke had just finished closing up and headed upstairs to his apartment. Jess was sitting on his bed reading. Luke decided that now would be a good of a time as any to have their little chat. He approached Jess' bed.  
  
"What are you reading?"  
  
Jess didn't look up. "Nicholas Nickelby."  
  
"Dickens?"  
  
"Yeah, it's really hard to get through. I mean I loved 'Oliver Twist' and 'A Tale of Two Cities' but Rory swears it's a good one so I'm trying to finish it."  
  
"So you're not reading this for school?"  
  
"No, they only read this stuff in AP English and since my grades sucked last year, I'm not one of the elite who were accepted into that class. But I'm reading it anyway."  
  
"For Rory."  
  
"Well not just for Rory, for myself."  
  
Jess continued to read. Luke decided it was now or never.  
  
"Um, Jess?"  
  
"Um, Luke?"  
  
"Can you put the book down for a minute, I'd like to talk to you."  
  
"What did I do now, Luke? Did I forget to take out the trash again or did I not make my bed?"  
  
"You didn't do anything, that's what I want to talk to you about."  
  
"You're not making any sense, have you been inhaling grill fumes again?"  
  
"Will you just stop being a smartass for five minutes, I'm trying here."  
  
Jess put the book down and looked at his uncle. "You have five minutes, shoot."  
  
Luke sat down on the bed and took a deep breath. "I want to talk about you and Rory. Um, the last time we really talked about this was months ago, when you two started dating. I know I gave you some ground rules about...."  
  
"Yeah, I seem to remember we were talking about socks. Or was it sex?" Jess smirked.  
  
"Fine. Well both. You see Lorelai and I were talking the other night and...."  
  
"Oh, so you two both decided to stop living in denial and did the deed?"  
  
Luke was embarrassed. "What are you talking about? Jess, what I'm trying to say is that Lorelai and I had a talk about you and Rory. And I've decided to revise some of those rules that I imposed on you."  
  
"And what rule would that be?"  
  
"The no sex rule."  
  
Jess was incredulous. "Get out."  
  
"Jess, I'm serious here."  
  
"You and Lorelai decided that it's all of a sudden okay for me and Rory to have sex?"  
  
"Well not all of a sudden. I just know that Rory feels that she may be ready and I'm assuming being an 18 year old male, you're more than ready, so I want you to know that if you want to talk about it or need advice or whatever, I'm here."  
  
"What kind of advice?"  
  
"Well, having sex is more than just something that feels good. It comes with a lot of responsibility, especially when it's someone like Rory."  
  
Jess nodded. "I know."  
  
"And I want to make sure that you two are safe."  
  
"I know."  
  
"I mean the last thing we want is for Rory to wind up pregnant before she goes to Yale."  
  
Jess was getting angry. "Don't you think I know that? This whole town seems to think that I'm going to be the ruination of their precious little princess. Maybe we should sell tickets to the deflowering and have it during a town meeting. Taylor and Miss Patty could provide the color commentary!"  
  
"Hey, calm down. I don't think you're going to ruin her, I mean I know how you feel about her."  
  
"Do you?"  
  
"Yeah, you do love her, right?"  
  
Jess nodded. "Yes."  
  
"Then it doesn't really matter what the mental patients in this town think, just concentrate on how you feel. I'm just telling you to be careful and only do this when Rory says she's ready."  
  
"Luke, I'm not stupid. I know all of this. Why do you think we haven't so far? It's not because of your precious rules. It's because I don't want to be known as the guy who screwed up Rory Gilmore's future!"  
  
Luke sighed. "Well, I think there's a good chance you won't be."  
  
Jess was tired of this conversation. "Well, I think you're five minutes are up. Thanks for the birds and the bees talk, it was sooo helpful."  
  
"Jess...."  
  
"Luke, I want to finish reading this chapter before I go to bed." Jess picked up his book and resumed reading.  
  
Luke stood up and walked to his side of the apartment to get ready for bed. Well, at least they had their talk, although he was now more concerned about Jess than he was Rory. He wanted to tell Lorelai about it, he hoped she would be at the diner in the morning. He hadn't seen her since their talk Sunday night, and hoped everything was all right. 


	6. High Heels

"Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown"  
  
Chapter Six: High Heels  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: Lorelai goes to a therapy session for a dream analysis and gets a whole lot more. ==================================================================  
  
It was Wednesday morning and Lorelai woke with a start, her snooze alarm was beeping. She turned over and saw that it was 8:30. She began to panic because she had to be at the Inn at nine. She and Sookie had a meeting with their contractors, they were planning to expand the Inn to include more banquet space. She grabbed the phone and dialed.  
  
"Independence Inn, Michel speaking."  
  
"Michel, it's Lorelai, is Sookie there yet?"  
  
Michel noticed the panic in her voice. "Yes, she ees. Ees there a problem?"  
  
"Can you tell her I'll be late for our meeting, I'll try to be at there as soon as possible!"  
  
"Vat is wrong? Deed you oversleep?"  
  
"Michel, just give her the message. Thanks!"  
  
Lorelai hung up the phone, in no mood to play games with Michel. She got out of bed and ran into the shower, if she hurried she could make it by 9:30. She'd have to skip breakfast but maybe she could ask Sookie to whip her up something at the Inn.  
  
Why hadn't Rory woken her? Then she remembered that Rory had to be at school extra early that morning for an assembly. She had to be on an early bus, so she was up and out the door before Lorelai's usual 7:15 wake-up time. This was the third morning in a row that Lorelai had overslept. She had been able to make it to work on time but had to skip her usual stop at Luke's.  
  
Luke, damn him. He was the reason she overslept. For several nights in a row, she was having strange dreams about him. The dreams always woke her at 4AM and she had a hell of a time falling asleep again. She would then doze as the sun rose and then sleep through her alarm. Maybe she shouldn't have asked him to give her a massage the other night....  
  
Lorelai got dressed, dried her hair and put on her makeup. She ran downstairs to the kitchen and grabbed a pop-tart and flew out the door. She got in her jeep and drove to the Inn. She usually walked to work but driving would be faster. She was able to make it to the meeting at 9:20.  
  
An hour later, with their meeting finished, Sookie decided to make Lorelai an egg white omelet. She placed a plate in front of her.  
  
"Here you go, I thought you might want this since you didn't eat breakfast."  
  
"Oh, thanks sweetie."  
  
Sookie sat for a minute while Lorelai gobbled the omelet. She was watching her with a concerned look on her face. Lorelai looked up and noticed her best friend staring at her.  
  
"Sookie, why are you looking at me like that?"  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Like I'm Winona Ryder and you're the Saks' security guard?"  
  
"Well, I don't think you're about to shoplift but I'm concerned about you, Lorelai."  
  
Lorelai sighed, another friend was concerned. "What do mean?"  
  
"Well honey, you seem all stressed out. You've been a little late for work every day this week and that's not like you."  
  
"I haven't been sleeping too well the past few nights, that's all."  
  
"Hmmm, maybe all of your caffeine consumption is catching up with you."  
  
"Sookie, I'm fine. I've just been having strange dreams."  
  
"About what?"  
  
Lorelai was about to tell her, but she knew if she mentioned Luke, Sookie would have a field day. She took any opportunity to tell her that Luke was in love with her and vice versa, Lorelai didn't want to go there on this particular morning.  
  
"Nothing. I really don't want to talk about it, okay?"  
  
"Well, Lorelai. If you don't want to talk to me, maybe you should see a doctor about your sleep problems." She paused. "Honey, I need you to be healthy and strong with all the things we have going on here, okay? You've always been the reliable one and while I can try to compensate, I can only do so much on my own."  
  
"Sookie, thanks for your concern. I'm fine but if you want I'll make an appointment."  
  
Sookie brightened. "Great, I'm glad to hear it. Although I still want to know what those dreams are all about."  
  
Lorelai laughed. "Maybe one day...."  
  
The following day, Lorelai came home from work early and she flopped on the couch. Sookie had sent her home because she was dozing off at work. Her strange dreams were becoming even more vivid, like the one she had last night.  
  
Lorelai had gone to the diner late at night. The place was empty except the counter was filled with coffee cups. She started to drink them, one after the other as they were lined up. When she got to the end of the counter, Luke was standing there, holding a coffee pot. Lorelai lunged at the pot but he wouldn't give in. After much pleading, she told him she would do anything he asked in exchange for another cup. He told her she knew what he wanted. And she gave in.  
  
That was it. Lorelai decided it was time to give in and call that therapist. She had, after all, promised Sookie she would see a doctor. She was a friend of Nicole's but there was such a thing as doctor/patient confidentiality. She grabbed her purse and fished out the piece of paper, picked up the phone and dialed. She was able to get an appointment the following day at noon, there was a last minute cancellation.  
  
Lorelai hung up the phone, relieved. Maybe Dr. Lieberman could help her interpret her dreams or give her some kind of prescription to help her sleep.  
  
The following day, Lorelai pulled her jeep into a parking lot in an industrial park near Hartford. She walked into the medical building and looked at her watch, it was 11:45. She entered the antiseptic looking office; the walls were bare except for some modern art screens on the wall. One was the "Persistence of Memory" and the other was "The Scream." She hoped that meant the doctor had a sense of humor.  
  
Lorelai approached the receptionist and was handed some paperwork to be filled out. She sat down and filled out the insurance and medical history information. She didn't understand what the date of her last period had to do with her sleep problems, but she answered everything thoroughly.  
  
A minute or two later, the receptionist told her that she could go into the office. An attractive redheaded woman in her 40s was standing by the door, dressed in a crisp black pantsuit and Jimmy Choo high heels. She reminded her a little of Susan Sarandon.  
  
She held out her hand. "Hello Lorelai. I'm Nancy Lieberman, nice to meet you."  
  
"Likewise, thank you for seeing me today."  
  
"Such a pretty name and an unusual spelling."  
  
"Oh, thanks. It comes from my paternal grandmother. It's also my daughter's name, although she's called Rory for short. It saves a lot of confusion, although sometimes sorting the mail is a challenge."  
  
"Why don't you have a seat?"  
  
"You don't have a couch? I thought you were a psychoanalyst."  
  
"I'm trained in Freudian theory, among others, but I find the couch so 1960's. I believe my patients can talk freely sitting in a comfy chair. So, what can I do for you, Lorelai?"  
  
Lorelai took a seat in the comfy chair. "Well, the reason I came to see you is that I've been having problems sleeping for the past week. I'm having some really weird dreams and I'm hoping you could help me figure out what they mean, or at least prescribe something to help me sleep through the night."  
  
Dr. Lieberman nodded. "Hmm, I see. Lorelai, I'm going to be taking notes during our session, so don't be distracted when you see my pen moving." She paused. "Well, before I start with your dreams, tell me a little about yourself. I see from your paperwork that you are 35, single and you mentioned a daughter. How old is Rory?"  
  
"18, she'll be 19 this October. And before you do the math, yes I had her when I was 16."  
  
"What did you do when you found out you were pregnant?"  
  
"Um, I freaked out?"  
  
"Well, I mean after the initial shock wore off."  
  
"I considered an abortion. I'm certainly pro-choice, but for me it wasn't an option. My parents wanted me to marry Christopher, the dad, but I thought we were way too young. My parents and I had a falling out over this, so once I had Rory, I left home."  
  
"What did you do then?"  
  
"I knew I had to get a job, so one day I was looking through the help- wanted ads, and I saw that the Independence Inn in Stars Hollow was looking for maids. I packed a bag, took Rory, got on the bus and I was there. The Inn's owner, Mia took me in and hired me. Eventually, I worked my way up and I've been managing the Inn for the past few years. My best friend and I are in the process of buying it and taking over."  
  
"Sounds like you've worked really hard. So what about your parents, how is your current relationship?"  
  
"Well, my parents are wealthy and have all these society rules. You know the type, they summer in the Vineyard, my dad golfs at the country club and my mom is a member of the DAR. She's one of those ladies who lunch. My dad retired from his job at an insurance company and now runs a consulting business."  
  
She took a breath. "I see them almost every week now, but our relationship is kind of strained. They help pay for Rory's education at Chilton Academy, so my mother made me a deal. We go there every week for dinner in exchange for the tuition. And Rory's going to Yale in the fall, and they're helping out with that too, so I'm having dinner with them in perpetuity."  
  
"So you didn't go to college?"  
  
"Well, I took classes at a community college to get my associate's degree, but no I didn't do the go away to an Ivy covered college for four years and attend keggers or pledge a sorority kind of thing. I was kind of busy making beds at the Inn and putting a roof over mine and Rory's heads."  
  
"Understood. So Rory's going to Yale?"  
  
"Yup, for the longest time, it was Harvard. But Rory changed her mind and felt it was better to go to school closer to home. She also wants to be near her boyfriend, Jess."  
  
"How would you describe your relationship with Rory?"  
  
"Well, she and I are very close. She's my best friend, and we spend a lot of time together. You know, watching TV, shopping, eating and mocking."  
  
"Mocking?"  
  
"Oh Rory and I mock everything that we find absurd about living in our small town, pop culture, America, whatever."  
  
"How do you feel about Rory going to school? Will she be commuting to Yale?"  
  
"Oh, no. We've decided it would be better for her to live in a dorm, at least her freshman year. I want her to adjust to college life and she can't do that living at home. As much as I'd like to have her at home, it'll be better for her in the long run. That's healthy, isn't it?"  
  
Dr. Lieberman nodded. "Let me ask you a question about Rory, this is strictly confidential, remember. Do you know if Rory is sexually active, you mentioned a boyfriend?"  
  
"Funny you should ask. She's not but she's planning to, soon. We've had the sex talk and I'm helping her with birth control advice and I'm taking her to my gynecologist. Coincidentally, her name is also Lieberman, Andrea Lieberman. Do you know her?"  
  
"No, afraid not, there are a lot of us. So Lorelai, it seems you're working really hard to prevent an unwanted pregnancy for Rory?"  
  
"Of course. I think my life turned out pretty well, but not without sacrifice. I don't want the same thing for her. Rory's waited a lot longer than girls her age, too. When I hear that 12 year olds are having oral sex, I'm appalled."  
  
"How would you react if Rory were to become pregnant, you know, before she finished her education?"  
  
"That's not gonna happen."  
  
"But it's conceivable, if you'll pardon the expression."  
  
"Well, I would support her in anyway I could. She's my daughter. I certainly wouldn't force her to get married or do anything she didn't want to. But like I said, it's not gonna happen."  
  
"Okay, then. Why don't you tell me about your dreams. When did they start?"  
  
"Well, they started about a week ago when I found out that Rory had some condoms in her dresser drawer. I overreacted; this was before we had our little chat. I went over to her boyfriend's apartment thinking that they might be together. Instead I walked in on his uncle and his girlfriend having sex." Lorelai looked embarrassed. "Um, this is confidential right?"  
  
Dr. Lieberman nodded. "Yes, why?"  
  
"Well, the girlfriend in this scenario is your friend Nicole Vaupen and the uncle is her boyfriend Luke."  
  
"Lorelai, what you say does not go beyond these walls."  
  
"That's good to know. Luke is the reason I'm here, I mean he gave me your contact info, he was a little concerned about me."  
  
"Tell me about Luke."  
  
"Well, he's a good friend of mine. He runs the local diner and basically keeps me fed and caffeinated."  
  
"You're a coffee drinker?"  
  
"I'm addicted, I'm afraid. But if you tasted Luke's coffee, you would too."  
  
"What is he like?"  
  
"Well, when you first meet him, he's kind of gruff and monosyllabic. He also has terrible fashion sense and likes to rant about the dangers of sugar, dairy, red meat and caffeine. Which incidentally, is my diet." She paused. "But underneath the flannel beats a heart of pure gold."  
  
"How so?"  
  
"Well, he's always been a good friend. He's just really supportive and around when I need him, you know, reliable. And he's great to Rory, too. He's almost like a father figure to her."  
  
"Hmm." Dr. Lieberman looked over her notes. "A supportive, reliable, father figure with a heart of pure gold."  
  
Lorelai was getting upset at her words being taken out of context. "Dr. Lieberman, you're not suggesting that I marry Luke, are you? The reason I came to see you is that I need an unbiased opinion about my dreams. Other people close to me have said things and I'm tired of it. I'm not in love with him!"  
  
"So these dreams you're having are about Luke?"  
  
Lorelai sighed. "Not all of them, but yeah, he's made a few appearances."  
  
Dr. Lieberman looked at her watch. "Time's about up."  
  
"You're kidding me. We're stopping now?"  
  
"Yes. I have a couple of things I want to talk to you about and then you can make another appointment. When you asked me before about marrying Luke, I want to make it clear to you that therapy isn't about me telling you what to do. What I do is help you understand the root of your problems, recognize and then deal with them. It's up to you to make the decisions."  
  
Lorelai nodded. "I understand, I'm sorry for the outburst."  
  
"You came here so I could help you with your dreams but that's only part of it. I'm going to write you a prescription, but only in the short term to help you sleep. I'd recommend that you cut back on your caffeine intake, try limiting to one cup in the morning or switch to decaf. I would also recommend that you come to see me once a week and we'll talk just like we did today."  
  
Lorelai was a little taken aback at her suggestions. "For how long?"  
  
"I'm not sure. It depends on how you progress. Lorelai, from our first session, I can see that you are a very bright, hard working woman. I'm sure if you apply yourself to your therapy, you won't be here forever."  
  
Lorelai smirked. "Or at least until your Jimmy Choo collection is complete? Great shoes, by the way."  
  
Dr. Lieberman laughed and handed her the prescription. "Thanks, so I'll see you next week?"  
  
Lorelai nodded, somewhat resignedly. "See you next week."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------  
  
A/N: I wanted to try writing Lorelai's back story in her own words (or my version or Lorelai's words). Also, Lorelai opened up pretty easily to Dr. Lieberman. While she's a little wary of therapy, we all know that she loves to talk about herself! There will be another therapy session in a future chapter (Dr. Lieberman will explore Lorelai's rejection issues, among other things)  
  
Note: Rory's age nitpick. She was supposedly born in October 1984 (Rory's Birthday Parties). In the current season, she's still 17 (Let the Games Begin), although she should really be 18. It's probably 90210 syndrome, but I hope AS-P doesn't change her birthday. 


	7. The Flower of My Secret

"Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown"  
  
Chapter Seven: The Flower of my Secret  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: Lorelai goes to the diner for the first time all week. ==================================================================  
  
The following morning, Lorelai woke up at nine, refreshed for the first time in a week. She had been able to sleep through most of the night, although she was still having weird dreams. The most disturbing one was where Rory called her from Yale, told her she was pregnant with twins and didn't know who the father was.  
  
She had taken the medication Dr. Lieberman had prescribed the night before and boy did she need it. Dinner with Emily took its usual toll and Lorelai went right to bed when she got home. Of course she was not about to tell her mother that she was starting therapy or that she had decided to let Rory become a woman.  
  
Lorelai also neglected to tell Rory that she had seen a therapist, too. She has mentioned going to the doctor to get a prescription for her sleep problem, but Lorelai felt weird sharing this news with her daughter. She didn't want Rory to worry about her.  
  
Lorelai got up and went downstairs into the kitchen. Rory was already dressed and drinking her morning coffee.  
  
"My, we are up bright and early on a Saturday."  
  
"Well, I have an appointment with Dr. Lieberman at ten, don't you remember?"  
  
Lorelai turned white. "Dr. Lieberman?"  
  
"Mom, are you okay? It was your idea that I see your gynecologist!"  
  
Oh that Dr. Lieberman. "Oh honey, I forgot all about it. Do you want me to take you?"  
  
"Well, I thought about it, but since I'm about to become a woman, ahem, I thought I should go on my own. It's just a consultation, anyway. I'm not putting my feet in anything that resembles stirrups."  
  
"Well, eventually you will have to face those evil contraptions. So you'll be okay on your own?"  
  
"Sure, Mom. Anyway, I have to get going, they told me to get there early to fill out some paperwork, and yes, I have my insurance card."  
  
"Yeah, that damn paperwork. Make sure you remember the date of your last period. They always want to know that, but in your case I think it's relevant."  
  
"Hey, did you sleep okay?'  
  
"Oh, yes, those pills I got yesterday worked wonders."  
  
"Well just don't get addicted; I don't want to have to visit you in rehab." Rory kissed her mother, grabbed the car keys and walked out the kitchen door.  
  
Lorelai sighed and reached for a coffee mug. She remembered Dr. Lieberman's directive, only one cup or switch to decaf. As much as she hated this advice, she didn't want to stray from her therapy. Well, if she was only allowed one cup, she'd rather it be Luke's coffee than her own.  
  
Lorelai went upstairs to take a shower, got dressed and was about to head out the door. She noticed the blinking light on her answering machine and played the message.  
  
"Hey Sweets, it's Alex. Haven't heard from you all week and I was getting a little concerned. I know it's short notice, but do you want to come by the coffee house tonight? I'm working but I'd really like to see you and hey, the coffee's on the house. Miss you and call me."  
  
Lorelai smiled. Alex. She had barely thought of him all week with everything going on. But there was that 'c' word again and the other 'c' word - coffee. How could she go hang out with him and not order several cups of caffeinated heaven, on the house, no less?  
  
As she headed towards the diner, Lorelai realized that she hadn't been to Luke's all week. Not since the night he gave her the back rub, which she was convinced had fueled her weird, dirty dreams. Before entering the diner, Lorelai physically shook herself of those images; she had to face Luke without blushing.  
  
Lorelai walked in the diner. The place was buzzing with Saturday brunch customers and all of the tables were filled. Lorelai headed to the counter and took a seat where Jess was pouring coffee.  
  
She eyed him a little warily. "Hi Jess, how are you?"  
  
Jess returned her look. "I'm okay. Hey, is Rory coming?"  
  
Lorelai shook her head. "Oh, she had a doctor's appointment today. She'll be home this afternoon."  
  
Jess looked concerned. "Is she okay?"  
  
"Oh, she's fine. Just a little preventive medicine."  
  
"Well you know what they say - an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, right?"  
  
Lorelai nodded, glad that Jess understood their veiled conversation.  
  
"So what can I get you?"  
  
"Oh, French toast and coffee would be great. Um, is Luke around?"  
  
"Yeah, he got a call upstairs; he's probably having phone sex with Ally McBeal as we speak."  
  
Before Lorelai could respond to Jess' inappropriate remark, he disappeared into the kitchen.  
  
As Lorelai sipped her coffee ration for the day, she tried to shake yet another sexual image of Luke from her head. She wished she could've smacked Jess for his snide remark. Just when she was starting to like him, he'd say something obnoxious to ruin the mood. Just then Luke appeared from the back.  
  
"Oh, Lorelai, hey."  
  
Lorelai looked up from her cup. "Oh hey, Luke."  
  
He stood in front of her. "You haven't been sick have you?"  
  
"Oh, no. I'm fine. Why would you think I'm sick?"  
  
"Well, I didn't see you all week for your usual caffeine drip. If you didn't show up today I would've sent out a search party."  
  
"No, I just overslept a few mornings, it's been a crazy week."  
  
Jess appeared with Lorelai's plate. "Here you go. Oh hey, Luke I didn't think you'd 'get off' the phone so soon. But now that you're off, can I go on break?"  
  
Lorelai started to giggle.  
  
"Well, it seems to be slowing down. But be back by noon, it'll pick up around then."  
  
Luke looked confused as he watched Jess go into the back. "What the hell is so funny?"  
  
Lorelai put down her cup and tried not to laugh. "Oh, Jess made an inappropriate remark about you in your absence."  
  
"What did he say? Oh, forget it. I really don't want to know."  
  
Lorelai dug into her French toast. Luke noticed that her coffee cup was almost empty so he picked up the pot and started to pour.  
  
Lorelai put up her hand. "Oh, Luke, no refills today."  
  
He stared at her, incredulous. "You don't want a refill? Lorelai, you sure you're not sick?"  
  
"Well, I'm trying not to be. I'm under doctor's orders."  
  
"You're serious?"  
  
"Yes, I went to see a doctor yesterday and she told me to cut back on caffeine."  
  
"Lorelai, I'm sure numerous medical professionals have given you that warning before, what made you actually listen this time?"  
  
Lorelai decided to tell him, he was after all, the one who had given her the referral.  
  
"It wasn't just any doctor. I went to see Dr. Lieberman."  
  
Luke looked surprised. "Really? What made you take the plunge?"  
  
Lorelai swallowed a piece of toast. "Um, well I've been having problems sleeping from all the stress I've been under, so I thought maybe she could help me."  
  
"And did she?"  
  
"Well, kind of. She gave me some medicine to help me sleep and I'm going to start seeing her regularly."  
  
Luke crossed his arms in front of him. "Wow, you're really going to a therapist."  
  
Lorelai noticed his smug expression. "Luke, please don't make any snide comments, okay?"  
  
He regarded her seriously. "Why would I do that? Lorelai, I think this is great. I'm really proud of you. And hey, anyone who could get you to cut back caffeine deserves my undying respect."  
  
"That was a semi-snide comment."  
  
"Sorry, couldn't resist."  
  
"Luke, could you do me a favor? Please don't tell anyone about this? I haven't even told Rory yet, so I would appreciate it if you didn't say anything. Not even Nicole. I know she's a friend of Dr. Lieberman's and all but...."  
  
"I'll take it to the grave." He made a little "cross my heart" gesture.  
  
Lorelai gave him a grateful look. "Thank you."  
  
"So does this mean I'm free to serve you decaf?"  
  
"Well, I'd like some more coffee, so yeah. I might as well get used to the stuff."  
  
Luke poured her a cup of decaf and then headed to a table to take an order, while Lorelai finished up her French toast. She tried to enjoy her cup of decaf. It really didn't taste too bad, but the strong aroma was missing.  
  
Luke returned to his spot across the counter. "Oh, Lorelai. There's something else I want to talk to you about. I had my little talk with Jess the other night."  
  
Lorelai nodded. "Oh, how did it go?"  
  
"Well, Jess is due back in a minute, so I don't really feel comfortable talking about it here."  
  
"Well, I'm about done. When he gets back, could you take a break? We could go upstairs or maybe take a walk, it's a gorgeous day."  
  
Luke nodded. "I'll meet you outside in five minutes?"  
  
"I've got to pick up something at Doose's, meet me outside there?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
Lorelai walked out of the diner and into Doose's to pick up some decaf. She was relieved not to run into Miss Patty or any other nosy townie. She did run into Dean and they had a friendly chat while he was stocking some shelves. He seemed to be doing pretty well, he had a new girlfriend and was planning to attend the University of Chicago in the fall.  
  
Lorelai left Doose's just as she saw Luke exiting the diner. He waved at her and they took a walk towards the gazebo.  
  
"How long do you have?"  
  
"Oh, I should probably be back by 12:15, Jess and Caesar can handle it."  
  
"You really hate leaving that place for more than fifteen minutes, don't you?"  
  
"Well, the sign's got my name on it."  
  
They approached the gazebo and sat on the steps.  
  
"So how did your birds and bees chat go? Was it all After School Special or more Dr. Drew?"  
  
"Um, somewhere in the middle, I think. Lorelai, I'm concerned about Jess."  
  
"Why? What did he say?"  
  
"Well, I gave him the whole 'sex is a big responsibility' speech and to be careful with Rory. He looked at me like I was an idiot, telling me that he already knew this stuff, which I guess didn't surprise me so much."  
  
Lorelai nodded. "But something surprised you."  
  
"He told me that the reason he hasn't been aggressive with Rory isn't because of the rules I imposed on him. He said he hasn't tried anything because he doesn't want to be the guy who screws up her life. He seems to think the whole town is waiting for him to ruin Rory."  
  
"Well, he's not off base there. If you took a poll at the next town meeting, I'm sure most of the hands would be 'yay' if that particular subject was raised."  
  
Luke sighed. "Is that what you think?"  
  
"It doesn't matter what I think or what Taylor or Miss Patty or even Kirk's cat thinks. The only two people who matter here are Rory and Jess." She paused. "Luke, I have a question for you."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Is Jess a virgin?"  
  
Luke looked embarrassed. "You know, I don't know. I didn't ask. I assume not, since he was constantly sucking face with that Shane girl."  
  
"But you don't know for sure."  
  
"Lorelai, you're not suggesting that I ask him that point blank, are you? Knowing Jess, I'd never get a straight answer out of him."  
  
"No, I'm not suggesting that. I'm just wondering if Jess might be scared because this might be his first time, too. If he were more experienced, he might've not reacted this way."  
  
"Yeah, well he did kind of clam up after the 'screw up Rory's future' part."  
  
"Well, then I think my theory has some weight."  
  
"You're very perceptive. I wonder if Dr. Lieberman is rubbing off on you?"  
  
"Oh, I've always been perceptive about other people's problems, it's my own that I can't solve. Hence, the therapy."  
  
"Isn't that always how it is?" He chuckled. "So what should I do about Jess, Dr. Gilmore?"  
  
"Oh, give him some space. I think he'll come to you for some advice when he's ready to talk. In the meantime, I'll talk to Rory. I'm sure if anyone can get through to Jess, she can."  
  
"I'll bet. Lorelai, are we really rooting for them to do this?"  
  
"Well, I haven't reserved them the honeymoon suite at the Inn just yet, but I just want those two kids to be happy, you know?"  
  
"Yeah. me too." Luke looked at his watch. "Oh, I'd better get back to the diner."  
  
"Yeah, the sign was starting to lose the "L."  
  
Luke got off the step and started to walk away. He turned around to see her still sitting on the step.  
  
"Thanks, Lorelai."  
  
"You're welcome, Luke."  
  
A/N: The whole Jess virginity thing has been inspired by a lively discussion going on at the TWOP boards. Even though this isn't a Literati, the R/J sex issue will be resolved at some point here, and yes they might even have a few scenes together!  
  
This is turning into a long and complicated story but I'm having fun writing this, so it might go on for a while. I'm considering ending this story's timeline in June 2003, with Rory's graduation from Chilton. I might skip ahead a few weeks at some point otherwise this will be 30 chapters long, and frankly I never want my stories to go beyond 15 chapters.  
  
Next up, Lorelai goes to see Alex, struggles with her caffeine addiction and has another therapy session. Rory and Lorelai will chat about her trip to the gyn and of course, Jess. Oh, and there will be more L/L at some point, of course. Nicole and Alex will quietly disappear at some point, but I'm not ready to dispose of them yet. 


	8. All About My Mother

"Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown"  
  
Chapter Eight: All About My Mother  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: Lorelai returns from the diner and talks to Rory about her appointment with the other Dr. Lieberman. ======================================================================  
  
After her talk with Luke, Lorelai took a slow walk home, basking in the late April sunshine. Suddenly, "Brady Bunch" ring tones interrupted her content mood and she fished around in her bag to answer her phone.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Hey, Lorelai, you're alive."  
  
Lorelai smiled. "Alex. Hi, sweetie."  
  
"Did you get the message I left you? I thought I'd try you on your cell, too."  
  
"Well, aren't you Mr. Thorough? I got it but I was just out the door for brunch at Luke's, so I didn't have a chance to call you back. How are you?"  
  
"I'm great. The real question is how are you? I was kind of worried that I didn't hear from you all week. Is everything okay?"  
  
"Oh, everything's great. It's just been a crazy week, with the Inn expansion and everything."  
  
"Good. I thought maybe you were mad at me."  
  
"Why would I be mad?"  
  
"Well, our date last weekend didn't end up with me feeding you coffee and bagels in bed, and I know you were worried about Rory and everything. Lorelai, I want to apologize."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For being Mr. Insensitive about the condom thing. I mean, considering your history, I should've been a little more supportive. I'm sorry."  
  
"Alex, I wasn't mad at you. But you are so sweet to apologize anyway. And you were maybe a teensy bit insensitive, but I'll forgive you."  
  
"So we're good. Is everything okay with Rory?"  
  
Lorelai sighed. "It's gonna be."  
  
"Good. So are you coming to the Java Junction tonight? We have some live entertainment that I'm sure you'll love. I've booked an 80's cover band and the singer changes costumes. You should see his Boy George outfit."  
  
"Does he look like the guy in the "Wedding Singer"? If so, I'm there."  
  
"Oh, he looks better. So say around 9?"  
  
"I'll be there with bells on."  
  
"Is that all?"  
  
Lorelai giggled. "Dirty."  
  
"Great, and I'll save you a pot of our premium blend Colombian coffee. Love ya."  
  
"See you."  
  
Lorelai switched off her cell and put it in her bag. She didn't know how to tell Alex that she'd have to turn down his offer of delicious coffee. He was the only person besides Rory who could keep up with her caffeine intake. She had just reached home and noticed the jeep parked in the driveway, Rory must've just returned from her appointment.  
  
"Hey, Hon, I'm home."  
  
"Hey Mom, how was brunch?" Rory called from the couch, where she was reading a book.  
  
"Oh interesting. Jess made a dirty remark about Luke, the French toast tried to tongue me and I finally succumbed to temptation and had Luke's decaf."  
  
"Mom, is Luke's turning into a brothel or is your mind in the gutter again?"  
  
"Neither. It's the caffeine withdrawal that's making me hallucinate. So speaking of sex, how was your visit with Dr. Lieberman?"  
  
"Oh, also interesting. I think I'm going to be a virgin until I'm 30."  
  
"What do you mean, why the about face?"  
  
"Well, she told me all about STDs and the havoc they can wreak not only on your reproductive system but your whole body, with visual aids no, less. She also showed me all the ways male condoms, female condoms, the pill, the patch, IUDs and diaphragms can fail." Rory took a breath. "She also recommended that if I'm going to be sexually active, that not only do I use a condom but I should also go on the pill. The more barriers, the better."  
  
"Well, that makes sense. Perhaps you should consider birth control pills."  
  
"But that means I'd have to go back again for a pelvic exam and face the evil stirrups. Plus I'd have to be on the pill for a few weeks before I could even consider having sex with Jess."  
  
"Well, it is a big responsibility. If you want the pleasure, you'll have to go through all of that, including the stirrups. Sorry, that's the breaks."  
  
Rory grimaced. "It sucks being a woman."  
  
"Oh, it's not so bad. In spite of the monthly pain and the occasional trip to the gynecologist we have it pretty good. We get to be pretty, buy lots of girly things and then bat our eyes at the opposite sex to get them to do whatever we want. We also get to be mothers sooner or later. In my case, sooner, and yours later, if you do what Dr. Lieberman says."  
  
Rory nodded. "I knew it's a big responsibility, but why doesn't Jess have to go some doctor and have his privates probed before he can touch me?"  
  
"Okay, that's a mental picture I need to shake from my mind's eye right now." Lorelai decided to this would be a good time to follow up on her talk with Luke. "Rory, I want to ask you something."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Do you know if Jess is experienced, I mean have you guys talked about your sexual histories?"  
  
"Well, Jess knows I'm a virgin."  
  
"And what do you know about Jess?"  
  
"I'm pretty sure he's not. I know he had a couple of girlfriends when he lived in New York and I once saw Shane's skanky bra in the backseat of his car. This was of course, before we dated."  
  
"But you don't know for sure?"  
  
"No, but I've always assumed that he's more experienced than I am. Mom, why is Jess's sexual status so important to you?"  
  
"Rory, I hope you won't be mad."  
  
"Uh, oh the last time you said that, you told me about your little faux pas at Luke's. What is it?"  
  
"Well, I remember you were angry with me that I told Alex about the condoms. Would you be mad if I told you that Luke and I have been talking about your and Jess' private lives?"  
  
Rory looked at her mother warily. "How private?"  
  
"Well, um, private. When I went to apologize to him last week, we wound up talking about you and Jess, it was kind of unavoidable."  
  
"What did you talk about?"  
  
"Well, I told Luke that you were considering, um, a change in your sexual status and I asked him to talk to Jess, to make sure that he knew that if you started having sex, that he be careful with you."  
  
Rory was angry. "Mom, how could you? I haven't even told Jess that I'm thinking about this, I wanted it to come from me, not Luke! Did he talk to him?"  
  
Lorelai was filled with surprise and regret. "Oh honey. I'm so sorry, I thought when you told me that you'd decided to have sex, that you would've shared the news with him first."  
  
Rory's voice rose. "You didn't answer my question. Did Luke talk to Jess yet?"  
  
"Yes." Lorelai offered weakly.  
  
Rory stood up and paced the floor, trying to stay calm even though she wanted to strangle her mother for interfering.  
  
"So what did Luke say?"  
  
"Um, he talked to Jess and told him it would be okay for you guys to have sex if you were protected and only when you said you were ready. That's not so bad, huh?"  
  
"Not so bad?" Rory said sarcastically. "Now Jess will think when I see him tonight that I'm gonna jump his bones! Mom, do you know how embarrassing this is for me?"  
  
"Honey, I'm sorry. I feel really stupid about this. But you have to know that Luke and I have the best intentions. And even if Jess thinks you want to jump his bones, he may not want to go through with it."  
  
"What is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Rory, um. Luke told me that Jess is afraid to have sex with you."  
  
Rory was incredulous. "Jess told Luke that he's afraid?"  
  
"Well, I don't know exactly what was said, I don't have a transcript. Luke said the reason Jess hasn't been aggressive with you is because he doesn't want to screw up your life."  
  
Rory sat down on the couch, her anger replaced by confusion.  
  
"Oh my god. Jess told me the reason he wasn't pressuring me is because of the rules Luke imposed on him. He never told me that."  
  
"Well, this is why I wanted to know if Jess was a virgin. I thought he might be if he's freaking out and he didn't know how to tell you."  
  
"Mom, why is it so important to you what Jess' reasons are? I mean I thought you might be thrilled that he's afraid, so we won't do anything stupid."  
  
"But honey, we're spending all of this time and energy preparing you for this and I want this to be a great experience for you, the way it wasn't for me. If Jess is all anxious, it's not going to be great."  
  
"What do you mean the way it wasn't for you?"  
  
Lorelai sighed. "Well, I lost my virginity to your dad right before I turned sixteen. Not the night you were conceived, but a few months earlier. We weren't prepared, I didn't know what I was getting myself into. All I knew was that your dad was a great kisser and I wanted his hands all over me. When I didn't get pregnant from the first time, we thought we were immune and weren't careful. And then one night on my parent's balcony, you happened."  
  
Lorelai reached out and stroked her daughter's hair.  
  
"Rory, I'm sorry. I guess I'm just getting over involved with this whole sex thing because I just want everything to be wonderful for you. I want you to avoid all the mistakes I made when I was a teenager. But if you want me to butt out, I will."  
  
"Well, it's a little late for butting out now, Mom. And I still have to face Jess tonight. It's gonna be an interesting conversation, believe me."  
  
"So you'll forgive Mommy for her overzealous indiscretion?"  
  
Rory sighed. "I'll forgive you. But I'm still so embarrassed. And how I'm I supposed to face Luke?"  
  
"Oh, let me worry about Luke. You know, he only wants the best for you and Jess."  
  
"Yeah, you two win the prize for the most involved parents slash guardians."  
  
Damage control over, Lorelai decided to change the subject. "So, what are your plans tonight with Jess?"  
  
"Oh, I'm gonna eat at the diner tonight and hang with him until closing. Then we're gonna watch some DVDs. He just bought a DVD player and wanted to watch the commentary version of "Dude, Where's My Car?" Very intellectual."  
  
"Jess has to work tonight?"  
  
"Yeah, I think Luke has a date with Nicole. Mom, promise me you're not going to sneak around his apartment listening for moans of passion."  
  
"I promise, no sneaking and I'm seeing Alex tonight, anyway. He's working at the Java Junction and there's supposed to be some 80's cover band he wants me to see. I'm kind of nervous, though."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well, the doctor told me to cut back on caffeine due to my sleep problems but Alex promised me some free premium blend Colombian coffee. How am I supposed to resist an offer like that?"  
  
"That's tough, but I'm sure you can do it. Be strong. Either that or tell Alex to give you free coffee beans, bring them home and I'll have them."  
  
"Good idea. You like the fact that I'm dating Mr. Coffee, huh?"  
  
"Yeah, you're a match made in coffee heaven. I have to finish reading this book, so I'll talk to you later."  
  
"Later, babe."  
  
  
  
A/N: Next up, Rory and Jess will talk (yes a R/J scene). I hope I did a good job in explaining Lorelai's motives here. As I said in my note on the review board, I didn't mean to imply that L/L were plotting for R/J to have sex in the previous chapter. 


	9. Law of Desire

"Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown"  
  
Chapter Nine: Law of Desire  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: The girls go the diner for dinner and run into Miss Patty. Rory and Jess talk.  
  
Later that evening, around seven o'clock, Rory was about to leave for the diner for her date with Jess. She was understandably a little anxious about seeing him. They had talked on the phone during the week but she hadn't seen him since their movie date last Saturday. She went upstairs to tell her mother she was leaving.  
  
"Mom, I'm about to leave for the diner. I'll be home by midnight. Hey, will you be sleeping over at Alex's?"  
  
"Maybe, I haven't decided yet."  
  
"Mom, it's okay if want to spend the night with him. I'm a big girl."  
  
"Yes, you keep reminding me of that. Hey, would you mind if I tag along for dinner? I'm not going to see Alex until nine and I think I need a Luke burger to sustain me until then."  
  
"Sure, just hurry up. I told Jess I'd come by at 7:15."  
  
Lorelai went into the bathroom to fix her hair and makeup. A few minutes later the girls were out the door.  
  
"Thanks for letting me tag along. I promise to behave myself in the diner, I'll just order a burger and decaf, I'll be so quiet, you won't even notice me."  
  
"Your a regular church mouse, huh? Just promise me you won't mention the words 'sex,' 'virgin,' or 'Jess' in the same sentence."  
  
Rory and Lorelai entered the diner, there were a few customers. The only person they recognized was Miss Patty, who was perched on a stool, flirting with Jess.  
  
"Attentive service from such a virile young man. I'm giving you an extra big tip tonight."  
  
Upon seeing Rory and Lorelai, Jess smiled. "Aw, Miss Patty, don't say that too loud, my girlfriend might get jealous."  
  
Rory approached the counter and gave Jess a chaste kiss hello. Patty made a face.  
  
"You call that a kiss? Rory, sweetie, if you want I'll show you how to give Jess a real kiss."  
  
  
  
Lorelai sat on the stool next to her. "Patty, thanks for the offer, but I think Rory and Jess are doing fine on their own."  
  
"Lorelai, darling. Haven't seen you around here all week, is everything okay? I was going to ask Babette to check in on you."  
  
"Oh everything's fine. I'm just really busy with the Inn expansion. Sookie and I are renovating the banquet hall."  
  
"Oh I just love banquet halls. So many lovely things happen there - parties, bar mitzvahs, weddings. Oh, speaking of weddings -how is that sexy coffee man you're seeing?"  
  
"Patty, we're not engaged. Alex is fine, I'm seeing him later tonight."  
  
Jess decided it was time to rescue Lorelai from the Miss Patty interrogation.  
  
"Lorelai, what can I get you?"  
  
She gave him a grateful look. "Oh a burger, well done and a cup of decaf."  
  
"Decaf, really? Luke told me that you're cutting back but I had to see it to believe it."  
  
Lorelai shrugged. "It's no big deal."  
  
"No big deal?" Patty exclaimed. "Lorelai Gilmore, as long as I've known you, you've always hated decaf. What life changing event has led you to cut back on caffeine? Oh honey, you're not pregnant are you?"  
  
Jess had gone into the kitchen and Lorelai was defenseless. Rory saw her mother's distressed look and came over.  
  
"Oh Miss Patty, Mom's not pregnant. She's just trying an experiment for me, for my health class. I'm trying to see the effects of caffeine withdrawal. It's just a short term thing."  
  
"Really? Honey you are brave to do this for your daughter."  
  
"Well, you know I'd do anything for Rory."  
  
"Well, I hate to leave you, but I'm done. I have to go make myself pretty for my date with Jesus."  
  
"Ooh, Patty, you're still seeing him?"  
  
"Yes, and in case you were wondering, he is a religious experience. Oh, Jess, darling, I'm leaving the money on the counter. Keep the change."  
  
"Thanks, Miss Patty."  
  
Patty got up and left the diner while Rory, Jess and Lorelai shared a "whew" moment.  
  
Just then Luke came downstairs, dressed in a dark suit and a blue button down shirt.  
  
"Jess, I'm about to leave for my date and....."  
  
"Oh, Lorelai, Rory, hey." He eyed them warily, knowing they would start ribbing him on his outfit.  
  
"Oh, sir, I believe the International Male modeling convention has left on the last bus at 7. You'll have to wait until tomorrow to get out of this one-horse town." Lorelai teased.  
  
"Luke, you're lucky." Rory smirked. "You just missed Patty, so you don't have to wipe up any drool she might've left on the counter."  
  
"Do you think my timing is an accident?" Luke asked. He turned to Jess and lowered his voice. "Um, don't wait up for me."  
  
Jess saw this as an opportunity to embarrass his uncle and raised his voice. "What? I must be losing my hearing from all that punk rawk I've been listening to. Did you say I shouldn't wait up?"  
  
Luke turned crimson; while he was used to Jess' attempts to embarrass him, but hated that he was trying to do it in front of this particular audience.  
  
Lorelai laughed. "Oh Luke, it's okay. Have a good time tonight, and don't worry. I won't be sneaking around Nicole's apartment waiting to interrupt you."  
  
Jess gave his uncle a quizzical look. "Luke, what is Lorelai babbling about?"  
  
Luke shot Lorelai a knowing look. "Oh, you know, she's always babbling about nonsense, right Lorelai?"  
  
Lorelai nodded, apparently Luke hadn't told Jess about her faux pas last weekend. "Right, blame it on the caffeine withdrawal."  
  
Luke took this opportunity to escape. "I've got to get going, good night everyone." He turned around and disappeared through the back.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------  
  
Later that evening, Jess and Rory were upstairs on the couch watching the DVD commentary of "Dude, Where's My Car?" Ashton Kutcher was waxing poetic about the joys of being paid to feel up Kristy Swanson.  
  
Jess was laughing. "This is classic stuff. He's one lucky guy."  
  
Rory was a little taken aback by the sexism even though she had to admit that the sublime silliness made it one of her favorite comedies.  
  
"So, is that your dream, to feel up the original Buffy?"  
  
Jess looked at her. "Well I wouldn't mind Kristy, but she's not my first choice when it comes to feeling up a girl."  
  
Rory gave him a look. "And who would be your first choice?"  
  
Jess shot her one of his trademark smoldering looks. "Who do you think?"  
  
He leaned in and gave Rory a kiss. Their kisses always grew passionate quickly and before she knew it, Rory found herself lying on the couch with Jess on top of her. He was kissing her neck and started to unbutton her cotton cardigan sweater. His hand then started to make its way under her long sleeved t-shirt. Jess's right hand made its way to its intended destination, like it had of late, but this time he attempted to unhook the front closure of her bra. Rory knew it was time to have their little talk. She reached under her shirt and clasped her right hand around Jess's.  
  
He smiled wickedly at her. "Are you offering to help?"  
  
"Not exactly. Um, Jess can we talk?"  
  
Jess was confused by Rory's change in mood but he immediately got off of her and sat up on the couch. The DVD was still playing; Jesse and Chester were French kissing in a sports car, so Jess made a face and turned it off.  
  
"What's wrong, Rory? I thought you were ready to go past first base?"  
  
"Jess, I hate the baseball analogy. Sex is not a game. And what made you think I was ready?"  
  
"The way you've been kissing me lately."  
  
Rory looked at him expectantly. "And?"  
  
Jess was confused. "What do you mean by and?"  
  
Rory sighed. "Jess, I know that Luke talked to you."  
  
"How did you know?"  
  
"My mom told me."  
  
Jess was annoyed. "Aw, Jeez. Your mom and my uncle are continuing to talk about our sex life, or lack of sex life behind our backs? What the hell is wrong with them?"  
  
"I guess they're concerned about us. I'm not too happy about it either. I mean the last thing I wanted was for you to hear it from Luke first."  
  
"Hear what?"  
  
"Jess, you know what I'm talking about."  
  
Jess smiled. "Yeah, but I want to hear you say it."  
  
"I thought I was ready to have sex with you. But now I'm not so sure anymore."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Jess, I'm not sure if we're ready now, I mean emotionally ready. Physically, I'm more than ready but I can't be intimate with you if you aren't honest with me."  
  
"Honest about what? Rory, you know I love you, don't you?"  
  
"Yes. And I love you, too. But my mom told me something that gave me some pause."  
  
Jess sighed. "What did Lorelai say?"  
  
"She said that Luke told her that the reason you haven't pressured me is that you're afraid you might screw up my life. You did say that, didn't you?"  
  
"Yeah, I told Luke that."  
  
"And do you really feel that way?"  
  
Jess nodded. "Yeah. I try to pretend that what the idiots in this town think doesn't matter, but it does. Ever since we started dating I feel like we're under some microscope. It's like we're cast as the town rebel and the virginal princess in one of Miss Patty's plays and everyone's waiting for me for screw up."  
  
"And the virginal princess would be you right?" Rory smirked.  
  
Jess chuckled. "Oh yeah, that's me."  
  
Rory's smirk faded. "Jess, I never asked you this point blank but I need to know the truth. Are you a virgin?"  
  
Jess was surprised. "Wow, you're direct. Um, how do you define virgin, Rory?"  
  
"Well I know there's some gray area but I always go by the Webster's definition, whether someone has had intercourse."  
  
Jess looked a little embarrassed. "Well, then according to Mr. Webster, I guess I'm a virgin. I mean, I've done a lot of other stuff, a lot of messing around. I've gotten my share of blow jobs and hand jobs. Shane had a great mouth, by the way."  
  
Rory smacked him in the arm. "I don't want to hear about that skank."  
  
"Jealous?"  
  
"No, why would I be jealous of Shane? She's not going to be the one to deflower you."  
  
Jess was confused again. "Wait. So, you want to have sex now?"  
  
"Not right this minute Jess, but sooner than later. I went to see a gynecologist today and she wants me to start taking birth control pills. That and condoms should help protect us."  
  
"You are so thorough, that's one of the things I love about you." Jess put his arm around Rory and pulled her close. She leaned her head on his shoulder.  
  
"So, you're not so freaked out by the prospect of sleeping with me?"  
  
"Well, a little, only because it's a big deal. But I'm sure I'll get over it. Just give me the word, and I'm there."  
  
Rory nodded against his shoulder. "When l give you the word, you'll hear it loud and clear." She turned to him and kissed him deeply.  
  
Jess decided that making out wasn't an option right now, given their discussion, and decided to turn his attention to something else. "So do you want to finish watching 'Dude'?"  
  
Rory nodded again. "Sweet."  
  
Jess turned back on the TV. A minute later, they began to giggle and all was good in Jess and Rory's world.  
  
A/N: I'm not great at R/J dialogue but that was my stab. So I decided to make Jess a virgin (so sue me), at least in the technical sense. I wrote Rory very direct here and I like Rory when she's like that. Thanks to FireGoddess1014 and Miss Pebbles for never failing to read every chapter and encouraging me to continue. And Green Eve, your stories are great, so I'm glad you like this. 


	10. Labyrinth of Passion

"Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown"  
  
Chapter Ten: Labyrinth of Passion  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: Sunday morning post - mortem with the Girls.  
  
The following morning, Lorelai woke up, looked at her clock and it was almost eleven. She hadn't slept well, having skipped a dose of her medication. She groaned and remembered the events of last night. After eating her burger, she left Rory at the diner and returned home to change her clothes. She drove to the coffee house and got there just as Karma Chameleon, the 80s cover band, was starting.  
  
She and Alex hung out at his private table and sang along, off key. Lorelai thought the band was pretty bad, even though Alex raved about his great taste in booking bands. As the band went into its Wham! set, Lorelai gave in and drank Alex's free coffee. She promised herself only one cup, but the whiny singer and the addictive aroma drove her to have three cups in a row. After closing, she was still flying high on caffeine and she drove to Alex's place for a "nightcap."  
  
They were fooling around on his couch and Alex was whispering sweet nothings into her ear when she started to have Luke visions. She remembered how handsome he looked in his suit tonight and in her fantasy he took on the George Michael role, dancing with her in on a yacht, like in the "Careless Whisper" video. Lorelai felt her mouth forming Luke's name, but she was freaked out enough to stop from saying it aloud and pulled herself away from Alex.  
  
When Alex asked her what was wrong, she said she needed to get home to Rory and would call him tomorrow. In the space of a minute, she had gone from lying flat on her back on Alex's couch to sitting in the driver's seat of her jeep, leaving him bewildered. She'd imagined he must've been really pissed off; this was the second weekend in a row she hadn't spent the night.  
  
Lorelai was already looking forward to her next appointment with Dr. Lieberman; it was Wednesday at lunch. Lorelai picked up a notebook and tried to remember all of the dreams she'd been having. Dr. Lieberman had suggested that Lorelai keep a journal of her dreams, it would make her therapy sessions go more smoothly. She couldn't fall asleep last night until well after 2AM with all the caffeine in her system and it was too late to take her pill.  
  
Lorelai began to write. One of her dreams continued the "Careless Whisper" plot, except she was in the George Michael role of the two timing player. In the dream, Luke walked in on her in bed with Alex and she tried to run after him, but his plane flew away before she could catch him. None of these dreams made sense to her, but she hoped her therapist could help.  
  
Lorelai put the notebook away in her nightstand drawer and decided it was time to get out of bed. She was dying to find out about Rory's evening with Jess. She headed downstairs and heard the shower running. She also smelled the aroma of coffee coming from the kitchen. Lorelai decided she was going to be good and made herself a cup of instant decaf to make up for falling off the wagon last night.  
  
She put some bread in the toaster and sat down with the cup and took a sip; it tasted horrible. It was nothing like the kind she had been drinking at the diner, at least that stuff was tolerable. Lorelai gave in and poured a mug brewed from the coffee maker. Well, Dr. Lieberman had said to try to limit to one cup in the morning. And it was still morning.  
  
Rory appeared a minute later, dressed in her terry cloth robe and her hair covered by a towel twisted atop her head.  
  
"Oh, morning, Mom."  
  
"Morning, hon."  
  
"Lemme put on some clothes; I'll be with you in a minute. Rory went into her bedroom, and shut the door. A moment or two later she appeared wearing a Bjork t-shirt and matching sweats.  
  
Rory eyed her mother. "So how was your evening?"  
  
Lorelai eyed her daughter. "So how was your evening?"  
  
"Mom, I'm not pretending we're the Williams sisters again, so I'll go first. Yes Jess and I talked. We've straightened everything out and he's not so freaked anymore, at least I hope he's not. We're gonna wait until I'm ready. And I've decided to make an appointment with Dr. Lieberman for that evil pelvic exam and I'm gonna go on the Pill."  
  
"Oh, Rory that's good news. I mean, I'm still also a little freaked about this losing your virginity thing, but it sounds like you're preparing well and taking responsibility. I'm proud of you."  
  
"Thanks, Mom. I'm relieved that Jess and I talked, but I'm just still kind of pissed that I had to do everything. You know, go to gynecologist, get the birth control and have to talk to Jess. I kind of felt like I was interrogating him, but he survived."  
  
"Oh honey, that's the way it is. Women always have to take charge of their men to get anywhere with them. I'm glad you're learning that now, it took me a few years to figure that out."  
  
"So speaking of men, how did it go with Alex? You didn't sleep over, did you? I thought I heard you come in around one."  
  
"Yeah, I decided not to stay over. I had too much caffeine in my system and decided it would be better to detoxify at home."  
  
"So you succumbed to temptation and drank the coffee?"  
  
'Yeah, I'm off the wagon, don't tell Dr. Lieberman."  
  
"Why would our gynecologist care whether or not you've had too much caffeine?" Rory looked puzzled. "She's not the one who gave you the prescription, is she?"  
  
Lorelai realized her mistake. "Oh, did I say Lieberman? I, um, meant Dr. Lewis, he was the one who gave me the pills. I guess Dr. Lieberman is on my mind with your pelvic exam coming up."  
  
Lorelai quickly changed the subject back to Rory. "So did you make an appointment?"  
  
"No, I'll call tomorrow." Rory felt like her mother was hiding something. "Gee, Mom, you seem awfully jumpy. I think you need to stay away from Alex's coffee."  
  
"What? Are you saying I should break up with him?"  
  
"No, of course not. I just think you should probably limit your dates with him to venues outside the Java Junction."  
  
"Well, that might be hard, since he spends most of his time there. That's like asking you to stay away from the diner. I mean, Jess is there quite a bit."  
  
"Yeah, but it's not like his name is on the sign or anything. I mean, imagine if you were dating Luke?"  
  
Lorelai stared at Rory, disturbed by her suggestion. She didn't even want to go there, with the dreams and all. She also hated keeping secrets from Rory but still wasn't ready to tell her about her therapy. Maybe she could tell her after the next session?  
  
"So, sweetie. What have you got planned for today?"  
  
"Oh, the usual. Homework and probably and phone debate with Paris about the merits of the Iraqi war. Hey, can we order Chinese for dinner and then watch 'Alias' together? You don't have to go to Luke's again to beg forgiveness again, do you?"  
  
Lorelai wished she would stop saying his name. "You are never gonna let me live that down, are you? Hey, did you notice last night that Jess didn't know about it?"  
  
"Well, I'm not surprised. You saw how red Luke was when Jess called him on his booty call. Do you really think he would share that moment with Jess?"  
  
"No, I guess not. I think they're bonding a bit more these days, but they're not like you and me."  
  
"Mom, if Luke and Jess ever became like you and me, I'd be seriously concerned."  
  
Lorelai chuckled. "Me, too. Hey, I'm gonna take a shower and tackle the laundry pile in my room. Do you want me to do yours, too?"  
  
"Great, thanks Mom."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------------  
  
A/N: Short chapter, I know, sort of a transitional one. I'm putting the Lorelai therapy thing on the front burner again, sorry R/J fans. Next chapter she'll have another session and Rory will find out what her mom's been up to. Ah, the intrigue.... 


	11. The Bullfighter

"Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown"  
  
Chapter Eleven: The Bullfighter  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: Lorelai has her second session with Dr. Lieberman.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------  
  
Wednesday afternoon, Lorelai sat in the waiting room of Dr. Lieberman's office, anxiously drumming her fingertips on the edge of her metal chair and absently flipping through an old issue of In Style magazine. She had already read this one, or had she? How many times had Julia Roberts' toothy movie star grin been on the cover?  
  
"Lorelai Gilmore, you can go in now." The receptionist's voice cut into her reverie and she stood up, grabbed her bag and walked into Dr. Lieberman's office. This time she didn't greet her at the door, she was sitting at her desk, looking over a file with her reading glasses perched on her nose. Dr. Lieberman looked up at Lorelai and noticed that she was dressed more conservatively than last time, in a dark blue pantsuit and heels.  
  
"Hello, Lorelai. Good to see you again, sit down. How are you?"  
  
"Is that a loaded question?" Lorelai smirked as she settled into the comfy chair.  
  
"That depends on you, what do you have to report?"  
  
"Oh, I don't even know where to begin."  
  
Dr. Lieberman removed her glasses. "Well, let's start with something easy. How's the sleep aid I prescribed working out?"  
  
"Oh, it's great when I remember to take it. I sleep like a baby and my dreams aren't nearly as vivid."  
  
"So, you haven't been taking it regularly? It's best that you do, at least in the short term."  
  
"I know, I messed up, it only happened once. You see, it was Saturday night and I had a date with my boyfriend Alex...."  
  
The doctor nodded. "So you have a boyfriend, we didn't talk about him last time. Tell me about Alex, how long have you been seeing him?"  
  
"Since January, I met him at a continuing ed class my friend Sookie and I took to help us with our Inn plans. He's really sweet, handsome and witty and he runs a coffee house in Hartford. The Java Junction, have you heard of it?"  
  
"No, I'm not a coffee drinker, I'm afraid. I prefer herbal teas."  
  
"Well, he also serves tea. In any case, he's a great guy. He has all the qualities a woman could want and he gives me free coffee. What more can I say?"  
  
"Interesting, Lorelai, have you been cutting back on caffeine like I suggested? I would imagine it would be tough considering your intake and the fact that your boyfriend runs a coffee house."  
  
Lorelai looked sheepish. "Well, I tried really hard to cut back, but I fell off the wagon Saturday night. I drank more than I wanted to. God, I sound like I have a drinking problem! Is there a 12 step program for caffeine addicts?"  
  
"No, but there should be. Caffeine addiction isn't as harmful as alcohol addiction, but it can cause physical problems and sleep disorders, most likely in your case."  
  
Lorelai's eyes widened. "I have a sleep disorder?"  
  
"Well, you came here because you're having problems sleeping, correct? Lorelai, I don't have a diagnosis yet, but I'm sure we'll get to the bottom of this." She paused. "So other than Saturday, how hard has it been for you to cut back?"  
  
"Well on a regular day, it's not bad. You see I go to Luke's diner, usually with Rory, for breakfast and I have a cup of his peerless coffee. If I get a refill, Luke gives me decaf, he knows that I'm cutting back. And his decaf is actually pretty good, I have to admit."  
  
"Ah, Luke, I remember we spoke about him last time. I believe you told me he referred you?"  
  
The pointed tone of the doctor made Lorelai shift uncomfortably in her chair. "Yeah, he knows I'm seeing you. He's really proud of me."  
  
"And what did your daughter say when you told her?"  
  
Lorelai shifted again, she couldn't lie to Dr Lieberman. "Um, I haven't told Rory yet."  
  
"You told me last time that you're very close, I thought you would've shared this with her. It's not a judgment, I'm just surprised."  
  
"Well, I just don't want her to worry about me. We have a lot going on with her preparing for graduation in June, Yale in the fall and the sex thing with her boyfriend."  
  
"Right, you mentioned that last time." Dr. Lieberman looked over her notes. "You said you started to have the strange dreams when you found the condoms in her room. Why don't we focus on the dreams for the remainder of our session?"  
  
"Oh, I almost forgot." Lorelai reached into her bag and pulled out a small notebook. "I've been keeping a dream diary, like you suggested."  
  
Lorelai began to tell Dr. Lieberman about her dreams, including the one with the coffee cups and the "Careless Whisper" scenario. She also told her the non-Luke ones, including Rory's college pregnancy and finding her in bed with her boyfriends, not at the same time of course.  
  
"So what can you tell me, other than I've been having too many sex dreams? Does this mean I'm sexually frustrated?"  
  
"I don't know. Sexual dreams aren't purely or even necessarily about sex, they usually represent unspoken emotional needs. But since you mentioned it, are you sexually frustrated, Lorelai?"  
  
Lorelai looked embarrassed. "Well, maybe. I haven't had sex in a few weeks."  
  
The doctor nodded. "I'm going to ask you some personal questions, so just take your time and answer the best you can."  
  
"As opposed to the other questions you ask?" Lorelai chuckled. "Be gentle, doctor."  
  
"How is your sex life with Alex? Is your relationship is physically and emotionally satisfying? You don't have to be graphic."  
  
"Well, it started off great, we had sex about a month into the relationship and it was fantastic, Alex's very attentive in bed, you might say. But lately, I haven't wanted to spend the night with him. For the past two weekends, I ended our dates early. One was because I was worried about Rory and the condoms and the other......"  
  
Lorelai stopped, did she really want to tell her that she had been fantasizing about Luke?  
  
"The other what? Just take your time, we have several minutes left."  
  
Lorelai sighed. "This is so embarrassing. The other night, Alex and I were making out in his apartment and I started to have these visions or fantasies, I guess. But Alex wasn't in them. I kind of freaked out and left kind of abruptly."  
  
The doctor nodded. "Can you tell me who it was?"  
  
"Um, the person who was the leading man in my "Careless Whisper" and coffee cup dreams?"  
  
"You can't say his name?"  
  
Lorelai groaned. "It was Luke, okay are you happy?"  
  
The doctor stopped writing. "Lorelai, whether or not I'm happy isn't the point. I think you need to start examining why Luke is in your fantasies and dreams."  
  
Lorelai looked confused. "But I thought that was your job?"  
  
"I'm here to help, but you have to be willing to have an open mind. Last week you insisted that you weren't in love with him. I'm not suggesting that you are or aren't. But it's obvious to me that he plays an important role in your life and you need to figure out what that is. The fact that you told him that you're seeing me but haven't yet told Rory speaks volumes. Also, the fact that you haven't wanted to sleep with Alex also has me concerned about the future of your relationship."  
  
"Well, Alex is concerned, too." Lorelai sighed. "We're sort of on hiatus. Not cancelled but on hiatus. I mean, he told me that he wants me to think about where our relationship is going and when I figure it out to call him. I'm not seeing him this weekend."  
  
"Oh, I see. Lorelai, can you picture yourself with Alex in the future? In five or say, ten years' time?"  
  
Lorelai shook her head. "I don't know. I don't like to put that kind of pressure on a relationship. Whenever I've done that in the past, it always leads to disaster. I've vowed just to take it day by day and enjoy it while it lasts. Very que sera, sera. Lorelai began to sing.  
  
"Whatever will be, will be, the future's not ours to see, que sera sera."  
  
Dr. Lieberman was amused. "Doris Day?"  
  
"Nah, the Syd Straw version from "Heathers."  
  
"We can talk movies next time." The doctor smirked. "Lorelai, I have another exercise for your journal. I want you to picture your life five years from now and write down what you see. It doesn't have to be long, I just want to get a feel for how you see yourself, professionally, personally, your daily routine, idealized or not."  
  
"I can do that. Could I write more than one scenario?"  
  
"Sure, as many as you'd like." Dr. Lieberman stared at her Ebel watch. "Well, time's about up."  
  
Lorelai was surprised how fast the sessions came and went. "So what's next?"  
  
"Here's what I'd like you to do in addition to the journal exercise. Continue to take your medicine regularly, before bedtime. Also, continue to monitor your caffeine intake and write down your dreams. I also want you to take notice if the vividness of your dreams is being influenced by the amount of caffeine you consume."  
  
Lorelai was furiously taking down the doctor's advice in her notebook. "Anything else?"  
  
"And think about Luke, try to analyze his current and potential role in your life."  
  
Lorelai smirked. "I had a feeling you would say that. Believe me, I don't need to try too hard to think about Luke." Lorelai paused. "How am I doing so far?"  
  
The doctor smiled. "You're doing just fine, Lorelai. We have a way to go, but I think we're making some progress. And don't lose that journal. I'll see you next week?"  
  
Lorelai nodded. "See you next week."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------  
  
Later that afternoon, Rory came home from school. She noticed the blinking light on their answering machine and played the message.  
  
"Hello, this is Dr. Lieberman's office calling for Lorelai Gilmore. We're just confirming your appointment for today at 12:30. Please call 555-7865 if you need to reschedule. Have a good day."  
  
Rory was puzzled. She had called to make an appointment with the gynecologist for that upcoming Saturday. The phone number also sounded wrong; maybe the office had two numbers? She decided to call to make sure they hadn't been a mix-up.  
  
"Dr. Lieberman's office, Carol speaking."  
  
"Um, hi Carol. This is Lorelai Gilmore, I think there's been a mix up with my appointment. You had me down for today at 12:30?"  
  
"Ms. Gilmore, yes. You had an appointment today. And according to the book, you kept it."  
  
Rory was even more confused. "But I made an appointment to see the doctor for a pelvic exam this Saturday at 11."  
  
Carol also sounded confused. "Ms. Gilmore, this is a psychiatrist's office, we don't do pelvic exams."  
  
Rory nearly dropped the phone while she slowly figured out what was going on. "Um, this may sound, um, crazy. But what did I look like?"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"Just tell me what Lorelai Gilmore looked like."  
  
"Um, tall, with dark long curly hair, pale and dressed in a business suit, I think."  
  
Rory was about to explain herself but decided that she didn't feel like wasting her breath. It was after all a psychiatrist's office, so Carol must've been used to dealing with crazy patients.  
  
"Thanks for your help, Carol. Have a good day."  
  
Rory hung up the phone. She knew it. She had a feeling she was hiding something from her. Now she knew what it was. She started to get angry, how could her mother keep a secret like this from her after demanding to know all the details about her and Jess?  
  
Rory couldn't wait until her mother got home.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------- 


	12. The Flower of My Secret, part 2

"Women on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown"  
  
Chapter Twelve: The Flower of My Secret, part two  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: Rory confronts her mother about her secret.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ----------------------------------------------  
  
Around six o'clock that evening, Rory was sitting at her desk when heard the front door open. Her anger at discovering Lorelai was in therapy had dissipated. Rory thought seeing a therapist would benefit her mother given the dysfunctional family dynamic between her mom and her grandparents. But she wasn't about to let her off the hook for keeping it a secret. She put her European history book down on her desk and went to greet her mother.  
  
"Hey Mom, how was your day?"  
  
"Oh, busy. Look what I brought home from Sookie's gourmet kitchen." Lorelai excitedly held up two large doggy bags. "We hosted a catered business function for an interior design trade group and we had some leftover goodies for dinner."  
  
Rory grabbed the bags, put them on the kitchen table and began to examine the carryout tins.  
  
"Ooh, thin crust goat cheese pizza! And garlic bread! And antipasto."  
  
Lorelai produced a small bag. "But wait, there's more. If you act now, we'll throw in a tiramisu with real ladyfingers for dessert!"  
  
Rory rubbed her stomach. "Oh yummy. Be sure to thank Sookie."  
  
Lorelai grabbed some plates from the cupboard. "Oh, I already did. She told me to thank a group of gay men on the Zone diet. Put the tiramisu in the fridge and I'll warm the pizza and bread in the oven. Let's eat our antipasto first."  
  
The girls sat down and started to dig in. Rory didn't want to ruin this movable feast and decided to wait until after dinner to talk to her mother about her secret. Instead, they talked about the usual things, Chilton competitiveness, Paris' latest freak out, and stupid things Michel said during the day to annoy Lorelai.  
  
Once they finished their pizzas, Lorelai sat back in her chair. "Geez, I think I've gained a dress size just sitting here. Hey, maybe those interior designers are onto something."  
  
Rory nooded. "I'm stuffed, too. I guess the tiramisu can wait."  
  
"Well, we can always sink our teeth into it during "Angel."  
  
Rory rolled her eyes. "Mom, you're so witty." Now that dinner was over, she decided it was time.  
  
"Oh, before I forget there was a message on the machine for you, just thought you'd like to know."  
  
"Anything important?"  
  
"Why don't you go listen?"  
  
Lorelai noticed her expectant tone, so she walked to the machine and pressed the button. After listening to the message, Lorelai knew she was busted. For a second, she tried to think of a plausible excuse but she knew Rory was too smart for that. And she had made up her mind to tell Rory about it sooner or later. It was a little sooner than she wanted, but the opportunity presented itself. She turned around and looked at her daughter standing with her arms crossed in front of her, waiting.  
  
"Oh Rory, please don't be mad. I can explain. I bet you called the number didn't you?"  
  
"Well just call me Curious George. Mom, I can't believe you are seeing a therapist whose last name is the same as our gynecologist!"  
  
"Hello? HHHThat's the only thing that surprised you? Sharing the same surname?"  
  
"Well, no. There's also the seeing a therapist part. I mean, I think that's probably a good thing. I'm just wondering when you'd get around to sharing this piece of news with me. How long have you been seeing her?"  
  
Lorelai sat down on the couch and Rory followed.  
  
"Only a couple of weeks - today was my second session. Rory, I was planning to tell you, I swear....what do you mean you think it's a good thing?"  
  
"Well, I always thought given your relationship with Grandma and Grandpa that there are a lot of unresolved issues that you need to work through. Is that why you decided to go?"  
  
"Um, maybe. But not the primary reason."  
  
"Then what made you take the plunge?"  
  
Lorelai remembered when Luke asked her the same exact question. How could she explain this to Rory truthfully, without saying too much?  
  
"Well, I started having some weird dreams a couple of weeks ago and they were affecting my sleep, as you know and I was all stressed out. Luke noticed and he gave me Dr. Lieberman's number, he thought she might be able to help me."  
  
"So Luke knows about this? Hey, he's not in therapy too, is he?"  
  
"No, the doctor is a friend of Nicole's. Hey, can you picture Luke in psychoanalysis? He'd lament that the grunge look died in '94 along with Kurt Cobain and isn't about to make a return to the runways anytime soon!"  
  
"No, I guess not. So the only person who knows about this is Luke."  
  
"Yeah, and now you. And I'd like to keep it that way. I don't want to be the lead story in the Stars Hollow Gazette or encourage Lorelai Psycho Watch 2003 on the town website."  
  
"I'll take it to the grave." Rory crossed her heart, unknowingly echoing Luke's vow. "But, mom, I'm curious. I used to be the one to analyze your dreams, what made you decide to see a professional?"  
  
Lorelai sighed. "Well I used to have the odd disturbing dream, like last summer. But lately I've been having more of them. They're vivid and more frequent and since they were affecting my health I decided that I needed outside help."  
  
"What are these dreams about?"  
  
Lorelai heard the question she was dreading. "Honey, I'd rather not discuss them. In fact, Dr. Lieberman suggested that I only talk to her about them. It's a doctor/patient thing, sorry."  
  
Rory looked at her mother skeptically but decided not to push. It seemed to her that Lorelai needed to talk to someone about the dreams but was too freaked out to share them with anyone close.  
  
"I just have one more question. Does any of this therapy stuff have to do with my decision to have sex? The timing just seems a little too coincidental."  
  
Lorelai looked at her daughter, she wasn't the only perceptive Gilmore. "You know, I haven't really talked about that yet with Dr. Lieberman, but maybe you're onto something."  
  
"Well, I think this is freaking you out more than you'll admit. You got super involved right away, maybe you were trying to over compensate for your fear of me getting pregnant, and you're stressing out as a result."  
  
"Hey, Dr. Gilmore. Are you sure you want to major in English at Yale? I wonder what kind of psychology program they have?"  
  
"Well, when you read as many books as I do, character motives become second nature. I've always been fascinated by what makes people tick. And you are one fascinating character."  
  
"Gee. Thanks, I guess. Rory, I hope that my decision to seek therapy won't affect the decision you've made. I mean, I don't want you to feel weird about this."  
  
"Well, like I've said before, I'm not having sex tomorrow. I have my appointment on Saturday, and then I'll have to adjust to the pills and it's not like I picked out a date yet with Jess. I made it clear to him that it's my decision when it happens."  
  
"Good. Then I guess we're done here?" Lorelai asked.  
  
Rory nodded. "Yup, for now. Hey, I have some homework to do. I'll meet you at nine in front of the TV for our date with 'Angel'?"  
  
"I'll bring the fangs and the tiramisu."  
  
Rory went back into her bedroom to finish her reading assignment, but she couldn't concentrate. She wondered if her decision was a good idea, after all, if it drove her mother into therapy. It was at times like this she wished their lives weren't so intertwined. She was pretty sure what her mother's dreams, or most likely nightmares were about, too. If only she could get confirmation.  
  
Lorelai went upstairs to work on her assignment for Dr. Lieberman. Her 2008 vision was easy. Rory was in her first year of graduate school, most likely Columbia, while interning at the New York Times. Meanwhile, she was back in Stars Hollow, running the Inn. Maybe she and Sookie had added a spa or something to the grounds.  
  
She also envisioned her personal life. She was married with twin toddlers, a boy and a girl. But she couldn't picture her husband's face. All she knew was the feeling that he loved her and gave her everything she needed. Perhaps his identity would become clearer at a later date.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------- A/N: I'm thinking of skipping ahead a few weeks for my next chapter. I'm running out of Almodovar films for chapter titles. I may have to recycle them or come up with new ones. Or maybe translate them into Spanish. "Lucas, la escuela!" 


	13. Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!

Chapter Thirteen: Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: This takes place approximately three weeks after chapter twelve in mid-May 2003. Luke and Jess face some challenges in the bedroom (not together, of course).  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------  
  
"Aw, jeez. Not again!"  
  
Luke rolled over onto one side of Nicole's bed and held his face in his hands. This was the third time in a row that they were in bed and things were not, um, performing the way they should. A distressed Nicole shifted over to where he was sitting, put her arms around his broad back and rested her chin on his shoulder.  
  
"Luke, talk to me."  
  
"What do you want me to say? I'm sorry this keeps happening. I don't understand why, I mean, things were so great before...."  
  
"Before?"  
  
He turned to her. "Weren't they?"  
  
Nicole nodded. "Yes, they were, but that was before it happened."  
  
Luke was puzzled. "What do you mean by 'it'?"  
  
Nicole looked him in the eye. "Before the night Lorelai walked in on us. As much as I hate to say it, this pretty much started soon after her little faux pas."  
  
Luke felt trapped by Nicole's stare. Lorelai. There she was again, always in the back of his mind, but now her presence was having a negative impact on his relationship with Nicole. Damn that Lorelai.  
  
"Nicole...."  
  
Nicole let go of Luke, reached for her robe and put it on. She got out of bed and began to pace the floor.  
  
"Luke, I'm going to make a suggestion and I want you to have an open mind."  
  
Luke watched her intently. "What is it?"  
  
"I want you to consider seeing a therapist. It's obvious to me that Lorelai walking in on us has had some kind of traumatic effect on you. It's making you anxious in bed and you need to talk to someone."  
  
"Oh come on Nicole, I don't need a shrink. I'm sure this will pass."  
  
"Well, I thought maybe the first couple of times it would, but Luke, this keeps happening and it's hurting our relationship. Please consider it, for my sake?"  
  
"Is this some kind of ultimatum?"  
  
"Well, not really. But if you care about me like you say you do and if we want to consider some kind of future together, you should talk to someone. Why don't you try my friend Nancy? She might be able to give you a referral to someone who specializes in this kind of thing."  
  
"You want me to see Dr. Lieberman?"  
  
"Well, at least for a consultation. And she'll keep everything confidential, she's a great therapist. I mean she helped me through some rough times."  
  
Luke was surprised. "I didn't know you saw her professionally. I thought she was just a friend of yours."  
  
"Well, I went to see her when I was in law school, around the time when my dad died and my fiance left. I stopped my therapy five years ago, but we've remained friends."  
  
Luke wasn't thrilled with the idea of seeing a therapist but he did notice that Lorelai seemed to be less hyperactive lately. If Dr. Lieberman had been able to help both Nicole and Lorelai, maybe she could help him too?  
  
"Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to make an appointment."  
  
"You have her number, right or did you wind up passing it on to Lorelai?"  
  
Luke nodded, almost wincing at yet another mention of her name. "Yeah, I gave it to her."  
  
"Well I sure hope she used it, if anyone needs therapy it's that woman."  
  
Luke sighed. "Nicole, Lorelai's not crazy, she just has a lot of issues."  
  
"More like subscriptions to me." Nicole scoffed.  
  
Luke didn't want to get into a conversation about the state of Lorelai's mental health and risk saying anything that would betray her confidence. Her presence was like a white elephant in Nicole's bedroom. He decided maybe it was a good time to leave and started to reach for his clothes.  
  
"Luke, where are you going? You can still spend the night. I'd love for you to make us breakfast in bed tomorrow."  
  
Luke was surprised. "You still want me to stay?"  
  
Nicole nodded at him with a small smile on her lips. "Yes."  
  
Luke looked at the clock, it was just after midnight. He really didn't feel like driving home at this late hour so he settled back into bed. As Nicole got back into bed and snuggled up against him, he thought it was probably was a bad idea to go home anyway. He didn't want to interrupt Jess and Rory and have to send Dr. Lieberman two more patients.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------  
  
Jess and Rory were making out on the couch at Luke's apartment. Jess hoped that tonight would be the night and by all signs it looked like it just might be. Although he knew that Rory hated the baseball analogy, he had already reached second base and was trying to steal third. Rory felt his hand go under the waist band of her jeans and helped him undo the buttons on her fly. Why had she worn these instead of a zip fly?  
  
Although Rory had some ambivalence over sleeping with Jess due to her mother's therapy, over the past few weeks, Lorelai seemed a lot less stressed out. And besides, Rory had been on the pill for almost three weeks and her body seemed to be adjusting well. Hey, and her skin had never looked clearer either.  
  
After Jess had removed her jeans, Rory's hand stopped him from removing more clothing. He hoped she wasn't changing her mind again.  
  
"Is something wrong?"  
  
Rory noticed the disappointment in his face and smiled to reassure him. "I think you're forgetting something."  
  
Jess looked confused; Rory always thought he looked so cute that way and motioned towards the bathroom. "Um, the condoms?"  
  
He looked relieved. "Oh, crap. I'll be right back." A shirtless Jess got up from the couch and went into the bathroom to grab a few packets. He brought them back to the couch and sat down.  
  
Rory looked at the number of packets in his hand. "Three?"  
  
"Well, I want to be prepared."  
  
"You're such a boy scout." Rory giggled.  
  
"Don't tell anyone." Jess smirked. "Hey, do you think you'd be a little more comfortable on the bed? There's a little more room, to um, maneuver."  
  
Rory sat up, took his hand and pulled up onto the bed.  
  
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"Oh, jeez. This never happened before, I swear."  
  
Ten minutes later, Jess sat up in bed and held his head in his hands.  
  
"What do you mean, this never happened before? This is your first time, right?" Rory's bewildered voice cut through his embarrassment.  
  
"Yeah, but I've never had a problem, um keeping it up before."  
  
Rory reached over and touched Jess's arm. "Jess, do you have any idea why that happened?"  
  
"I dunno."  
  
"Jess, look at me."  
  
Jess shook his head in frustration. "Maybe all the pressure of this being our first time and all got to me. I just wanted it to be good for you, Rory."  
  
"Well, it was good, Jess. I mean, except for that last part. Hey, there's no pressure, just relax."  
  
"No pressure, just relax? Are you serious?" Jess looked at her incredulously. "I'm surprised your mom didn't put this place under surveillance!"  
  
"Oh, Jess. My mom's okay with this, I swear. And you're not still worried about what everyone else thinks, do you? The only person you need to focus on is me. And I don't think you're going to if you'll pardon the expression, screw it up."  
  
Rory sat up and put her arms around him. "Hey, do you want to try again?"  
  
Jess shook his head. "I don't think so, not tonight."  
  
"Do you want me to go?"  
  
"Oh, Rory, no. I'd like you to stay over, I mean, if you want to."  
  
Rory nodded. "Of course I want to and hey, we can cuddle."  
  
Jess got out of bed and went over to his dresser and opened a drawer. He threw a black t-shirt on the bed and put on a pair of pajama bottoms. He then got back into bed.  
  
Rory made a face. "Guns 'N Roses?"  
  
"Just put that on. If Luke comes home early, I don't want him to freak out and find you naked in my bed."  
  
"Well, I still think Luke will freak out if I finds me in your bed, clothed or not. Hey, can I keep this? I'm not a fan, but I'd like a memento."  
  
"Sure, I have two others. And come on, "Appetite for Destruction" is a classic." He paused.  
  
"Rory, why would you want to remember tonight? It's not exactly the romantic fantasy you've been dreaming about."  
  
"Okay, it wasn't exactly what I hoped for but at least we get to spend the night together. Come on Jess, lie down and try to get some sleep."  
  
Jess did what he was told and soon he and Rory fell asleep in each others' arms.  
  
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A/N: Awww, I'm throwing a bone (pardon the pun) to the Literati folks. This story keeps getting weirder and weirder but I hope it still seems in character (or at least in character with character growth.) I mean, I have Lorelai, the Queen of De Nile, in therapy and drinking decaf, Rory being the aggressor and poor Luke and Jess dealing with sexual dysfunction. And it ain't over yet....  
  
Next up, Lorelai has a breakthrough, of sorts at her next session and gets a big surprise. 


	14. Woman on the Verge of a Breakthrough

Chapter Fourteen: Woman on the Verge of a Breakthrough  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: Lorelai has another therapy session and comes to a realization about Luke.  
  
"Lorelai Gilmore, you can go in now."  
  
Lorelai walked quickly into Dr. Lieberman's office and sat in the comfy chair. She couldn't wait to tell her the good news; after only five sessions, Lorelai felt she was having her first breakthrough.  
  
Dr. Lieberman noticed the change in Lorelai's energy; she usually came in with an air of dutiful resignation, but Lorelai looked like a student who thought she had just written a grade A term paper.  
  
"Lorelai, you seem much more energetic today than usual, I hope you're not back on caffeine."  
  
"Oh, I had a cup this morning at Luke's but that's it. And that's when it happened."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"I had a breakthrough. Remember a few weeks ago you asked me to try to figure out Luke's role in my life? Well I think I've come up with an answer."  
  
Dr. Lieberman took off her glasses. "Why don't you tell me?"  
  
"Okay, I was sitting at the counter drinking my morning coffee and Luke had just given me a plate of pancakes. He asked me if I needed anything else and that's when I realized it."  
  
"Realized what?"  
  
"That Luke is my safety net."  
  
"Please explain what you mean by that."  
  
"Well, he always catches me when I fall. Whenever I feel lost, I go to him, we talk and I feel safe again. He always makes me feel safe, no matter the chaos going on around me. He just always knows the right thing to say. He's like comfort food. I guess the fact that he feeds me on a daily basis has something to do with that."  
  
Dr. Lieberman nodded, encouraged by her introspection. "I see."  
  
Lorelai continued. "I also figured out why I've been dreaming about him. You said that sexual dreams don't necessarily mean sex, that they can represent emotional needs?"  
  
The doctor nodded. "Yes, I see you've been listening."  
  
"Well, there's been a lot of changes in my life, with Rory deciding to go to Yale and wanting to lose her virginity, to the challenges at work, and my relationship with Alex. If Luke represents safety to me, then I've been dreaming about him because that's what I'm craving."  
  
"That's very possible, but I don't know if it's that simple. Perhaps Luke represents more than just safety to you."  
  
"Well I don't know about that but I've also figured out my "Careless Whisper" dream."  
  
"Please refresh my memory. I'm sorry, I don't have the notes from that session in front of me."  
  
"The one where I was cheating on Luke with Alex and he walked in on us? Well, I remember last time we talked about my rejection issues with my parents and how it's carried over into my relationships with men?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Well, I realized that I've been pushing Alex away, like I did with Max, before he could reject me. Things were starting to get serious and I got scared. Well, if Luke represents safety, and Alex is love, I was seeking safety again by wanting to run after Luke."  
  
"You're saying you were betraying safety with love?"  
  
"I know it sounds weird, but that's how my mind perceived the situation. I've always thought it was safer to be single, even though I don't like being single. So, I've decided to get back together with Alex. I realized that I want to be with him."  
  
"And you can picture him in your five year vision?"  
  
"Well, I don't know about that. I'm still having a problem visualizing who my husband is. Five years is a long time away."  
  
"Well, it seems you've done a lot of analysis on yourself. I have a slightly different take on it but I want to save that for the end of our session. Let's try another topic - Rory. You mentioned last week that she was planning to sleep with her boyfriend."  
  
Lorelai chuckled. "Well she did sleep with him, whether or not she lost her virginity is another story."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Um, apparently her boyfriend had performance issues, I guess he felt pressured."  
  
"How do you feel about this?"  
  
"Well, I'm kind of relieved but a little frustrated, if you can believe it. Part of me still wonders if she's ready and the other part of me kind of wants her to get it over with, so we can stop obsessing over it."  
  
"Lorelai, I think I know why you're obsessing over this."  
  
"Because I don't want her to wind up pregnant like me?"  
  
"Well, yes, but it's deeper than that. There's something in almost every person's life that defines who they are, emotionally. In some cases it's sexual abuse. More often it's the early death of a family member, usually a parent or child. Or on the opposite end of the spectrum the birth of a child. Especially in your case, because you had Rory before becoming a full grown adult."  
  
Lorelai nodded. "I see."  
  
"Lorelai, your defining event has basically shaped your identity for the past two decades. You see yourself as Rory's mom first, and Lorelai second. I could tell immediately because when you first walked in here, you mentioned her right away. I also noticed in your five year vision, the description of her life came before yours." The doctor took a breath.  
  
"It seems to me that you are a loving parent but sometimes to the detriment of your own personal growth, and possibly your daughter's. From your description of Rory, it seems that you've put some unspoken expectations on her to redeem your mistakes. You told me that an unplanned pregnancy and I quote 'is not gonna happen' for Rory because if she were to get pregnant, you would feel that you've failed as a parent. But if Rory succeeds and has a successful education and subsequent career than you will have redeemed yourself to your parents."  
  
Lorelai nodded. "Wow. I guess you have been paying attention."  
  
"What I'm saying is I think you need to rethink your identity and try to break away from those kinds of dangerous thought patterns. You are Lorelai Gilmore, first, and Rory's mom, second. Especially now that she's growing up and getting her own identity."  
  
"So it's a good idea to have her live in the dorms at Yale, right?"  
  
"Yes. You and Rory need to be more independent of each other. It's going to be tough when she leaves in a few months, so you definitely need to be focusing on your own needs."  
  
"Like a relationship?"  
  
"Yes, which brings me back to the men in your life."  
  
"You mean the man in my life."  
  
"No, I meant plural. Lorelai, you told me about wanting 'the whole package' in your five year vision, a husband and more children. You also mentioned three words to me what that package meant to you - love, comfort and safety."  
  
Lorelai nodded. "Right."  
  
"Before when you were telling me about what Luke represents, you mentioned the word 'safety' several times and you also mentioned 'comfort.'"  
  
"Right. But I also said that Alex is love."  
  
"Maybe. But I think you need to think a bit more about this."  
  
Lorelai was tired of playing games. "Are you suggesting that I'm in denial, Dr. Lieberman?"  
  
"It's possible, yes."  
  
"I don't understand."  
  
"Well, perhaps you don't need to analyze your dreams so deeply. I think you're dreaming about Luke because he does represent the love, comfort, and safety you're craving. It's pretty simple."  
  
"Okay, doctor. So if I'm in love with Luke, then why am I in denial?"  
  
"It's your rejection issues again. You've told me that none of your love relationships have worked out to date. You love him but are afraid to take a step forward because you might lose him if it doesn't work. So you pretend that the feelings aren't there, but they haven't gone away and have manifested themselves in your dreams."  
  
"So sometimes a cigar is just a cigar? You're saying I want to have sex with Luke?"  
  
"Not just purely sex, but I believe your dreams are telling you that you are in love with him."  
  
Lorelai sighed and shook her head. "I can't believe this. I've been spending all of this time in therapy just to hear you say something that Rory already told me?"  
  
"Rory told you that you're in love with Luke?"  
  
Lorelai told her about the dream about being pregnant with Luke's twins and Rory's analysis.  
  
"Maybe Rory should major in psychology." Dr. Lieberman laughed. "I didn't realize that your dreams started last summer."  
  
"That was the first and only one until they started up again the past month."  
  
Dr. Lieberman looked at her watch. "Well, it looks like our time is up. Lorelai, since we covered a lot of ground today, I'd like you to skip next week's session. Make an appointment for the following week. Just think about what we talked about. Also, pay attention to the way you feel when you see Luke, now that you are aware that you may have these feelings."  
  
"That's gonna be uncomfortable, I see him almost every day."  
  
"Well, therapy isn't easy but this should give you plenty of opportunity to make some decisions about your personal life and where you want it to go."  
  
"You do remember that he's dating a friend of yours right?"  
  
"Yes, but I don't let my personal life dictate my relationship with my patients."  
  
"I could never have your job. So I'll see you in two weeks? I still need to monitor the caffeine and take my pills?"  
  
"Yes, continue with the treatment. We'll talk about decreasing your dosage next time."  
  
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Lorelai left the medical building. It was time for her to get back to the Inn. She sat for a moment and thought about what Dr. Lieberman said. Before her appointment she was all set to reconcile with Alex, she had left him a message on his cell telling him she wanted to see him. But now with all of the Luke stuff, she was beginning to doubt that getting back with Alex was a good idea.  
  
Lorelai was about to turn the key into the ignition when she noticed a familiar pickup truck pull into a space close to the building. A man in a flannel shirt exited the truck, sans baseball cap, and Lorelai recognized that slightly bow-legged walk that appeared whenever he was in a hurry. No doubt about it, it was the one and only Luke Danes.  
  
What the hell was he doing there? There were a number of doctors in the building that he might have had an appointment but Lorelai wondered if it were possible. Had he been seeing Dr. Lieberman all along and not have told her? She had to know for sure.  
  
She rang the Inn and told Michel she was running late at the doctor's office, not exactly a lie. She got out of her jeep and walked back into the building and got into the elevator. When she got to the door of the doctor's office, she was thankful that there was a small glass window she could peer into.  
  
There he was, uncomfortably sitting in one of the metal chairs with his arms across his chest, glancing at his watch. It was true, Luke was seeing Dr. Lieberman. Lorelai wished she could be a fly on the wall during his therapy session.  
  
A/N: So I beg the question, do I write about Luke's session? That would be painful, huh? Forgive me if I don't, I'm trying to wrap up this story within a few chapters. 


	15. Notsodeepindenial

Chapter Fifteen: Not-so-deep-in-denial  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: Dr. Lieberman meets the infamous Luke Danes and Lorelai chats with Sookie about her love life.  
  
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Luke walked nervously into Dr. Lieberman's office, he felt foolish talking about his very personal problems with a relative stranger.  
  
Dr. Lieberman eyed Luke with interest. So this was the man that Lorelai denied she was in love with and Nicole had raved about. He certainly wasn't the type she found attractive, but she imagined there had to be some sort of rugged charm under the flannel.  
  
Dr. Lieberman held out her hand. "Hi, Luke, it's nice to finally meet you."  
  
Luke shook her hand, a little surprised. "You've wanted to meet me?"  
  
"Well, Nicole has mentioned she's been dating you."  
  
Dr. Lieberman purposefully left Lorelai out of the conversation. In truth, she had heard much more about him through her sessions with Lorelai then her casual conversations with Nicole. But due to doctor/patient confidentiality, she couldn't mention anything that Lorelai might've said. This was going to be an interesting session.  
  
"So, Luke. What can I help you with today?"  
  
Luke was hoping to get away with saying as little as possible, get a referral and get the hell back to the diner.  
  
"Um, did Nicole say anything to you about why I made an appointment?"  
  
The doctor shook her head. "No, I haven't talked to Nicole in a couple of weeks. Your paperwork says you've come for a consultation."  
  
Luke stared at his hands. "Well, I was hoping to get a referral."  
  
"Well, why don't you tell me what the problem is, and I'll see what I can do for you?"  
  
Luke sighed. "Well, um, Nicole and I have been, um having problems in the bedroom."  
  
Dr. Lieberman nodded. "Erectile dysfunction, I see."  
  
Luke was surprised by her directness. "Well, I guess I can skip the stammering and stuttering then."  
  
"It's a common problem, although usually in older men. In older males it's usually a physical problem and in men your age, it's usually due to anxiety or an unhealthy lifestyle."  
  
"Well, I don't eat red meat. I also exercise, eat plenty of fruits and vegetables and don't smoke. I have the occasional beer, but I stay away from hard liquor and caffeine."  
  
"You sound like you take good care of yourself. I doubt your problem is due to diet, it's most likely anxiety. Tell me, have you ever experienced this before?"  
  
"No, never, it just started a few weeks ago, I mean when Nicole and I started, you know, everything was working fine. But then recently it keeps happening and Nicole got fed up and asked me to talk to someone for the sake of our relationship."  
  
"When did it start?"  
  
"About a month ago."  
  
"Did anything happen that might have been stressful for you? Like a job loss or family problems?"  
  
"Nothing like that. Nicole has a theory, though."  
  
"What theory is that?"  
  
Luke looked sheepish. "Um, one night Nicole and I were in bed, having sex and someone walked in us."  
  
Dr. Lieberman knew very well who that was.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -----------------------------------------------------  
  
Lorelai returned to the Inn, still wondering about Luke's visit to her therapist's office. What were they talking about? Could he possibly be talking about her? Or was he having problems dealing with Jess, or maybe Nicole? Or was he having dreams about wanting to strangle Taylor with his bare hands?  
  
Sookie noticed that Lorelai's head was somewhere else. They were supposed to be looking at wallpaper samples for the new banquet room and she had to say something to bring her back to earth.  
  
"So, I think a Scottish plaid would look really nice, don't you? I was thinking of taking Jackson's kilt to the wallpaper guy and having him copy the pattern."  
  
"Sure Sookie."  
  
"Whoa, Lorelai. You're not listening to me. What's up?"  
  
"Oh, nothing."  
  
"Nothing? Lorelai, I've noticed a change in you over the past few weeks. You've been a lot calmer since you cut back on caffeine. Or are the sleeping pills making you day-dreamy?"  
  
"I don't know, maybe both. Hey Sookie, do you think I should get back together with Alex?"  
  
"Well, he's quite a catch, Lorelai. Handsome, funny, smart and he looks like he stepped off the cover of GQ." She paused and looked at her friend soberly. "But the question is, does he make you happy?"  
  
"Well I had a great time with him and he's really sweet. There's just something missing that I can't put my finger on."  
  
"You're not in love with him."  
  
Lorelai snapped her fingers. "Oh, yeah, that's it."  
  
"Then if you're not in love with him, then I don't think you should."  
  
"Why? Not all couples who date are in love, right? It can be just for fun."  
  
"Right. But Alex put your relationship on hiatus, as you put it, because he wanted to know where you were going. It's obvious that he wants more than a little fun, Lorelai. You don't want to lead him on."  
  
"I guess you're right, Sookie. I just don't like being single."  
  
"Well, you've never had a problem being single before, with your Ricky Martin-ing, and all. Maybe the reason you don't like being single is because a certain person is dating someone else right now."  
  
This being Sookie, Lorelai knew it was coming but it didn't bother her as much given her discussion with Dr. Lieberman this morning.  
  
She sighed. "You're talking about Luke, aren't you?"  
  
Sookie nodded, incredulous that Lorelai brought up his name first. "Yes! Oh honey, after all this time has everything I said finally sunk in?"  
  
Lorelai hadn't told Sookie about her therapy and didn't want to tell her that a shrink was responsible for her not-so-deep-in-denial response.  
  
"I guess so. I've been thinking a lot about Luke lately and maybe my feelings for him aren't so platonic, after all."  
  
"Honey, I'm so proud of you. This is great!"  
  
"Why is it great? Luke has this good thing with Nicole. I don't want to mess that up for him."  
  
"How do you know it's good? Maybe he's just biding his time. I mean like you said, not all couples who date are in love. And I'm pretty sure Luke still has a thing for you."  
  
"Oh, I don't know. I can never tell with him. Sometimes I think I've seen something there one moment and the next it's gone. And then I wonder if I imagined it."  
  
"Well there's only one way to find out, Lorelai."  
  
"Oh Sookie, no, I couldn't. He'd hate me, ban me from the diner and then I'd have to take up permanent residency in your kitchen. Then you and Jackson would get sick of my Ozzy impressions and force me to take a permanent table at Al's Pancake World."  
  
"Okay drama queen, you don't have to tell him today. Maybe this Nicole thing will run its course."  
  
"She's not the common cold, Sookie. I think Luke is really into her, I mean he shaves and dresses up for her, voluntarily."  
  
"I'm sure he'd dress up for you, too, if you asked him nicely. Or undress." Sookie giggled.  
  
Lorelai blushed, thinking about her Luke dreams. "Sookie, can we not talk about this anymore? Let's talk wallpaper."  
  
Sookie nodded. "Okay, wallpaper. But I'm not going to stop nagging you about Luke."  
  
"That's okay, I'm used to it." Lorelai smiled wearily at her friend.  
  
  
  
A/N: Okay, so I wrote a little of Luke's session, more from a Dr. Lieberman POV, I thought that would make the most sense. And I will resolve the R/J thing very soon, don't worry kids.  
  
I've officially run out of Almodovar film titles for my chapters, so I'm winging it. 


	16. Donnie Darko and Christiane Amanpour

Chapter Sixteen: Donnie Darko and the next Christiane Amanpour  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: Rory and Lorelai talk about a graduation party and their plans for the evening. Rory and Jess finally resolve their little problem.  
  
It was Saturday afternoon at the Gilmore house. Lorelai knocked on her daughter's bedroom door. Rory looked up from her Mac; she was working on a term paper.  
  
"Hey, hon. Have you given any thought to your graduation party?"  
  
"No Mom. But I have a sneaking suspicion you have."  
  
"Of course I have. The banquet room at the Inn should be finished in a few weeks, just in time for your graduation. How would you like to have it there?"  
  
"Wow, I thought maybe I'd have a small gathering here at the house. You want to throw a fancy party for me?"  
  
"Rory you've spent the past three years working your butt off, I think you deserve a soiree to remember. And I'd love to christen that room with a nice memory. Plus I know the owner and we could get a really good deal!"  
  
"Sure Mom. How many people can I invite?"  
  
"Oh as many as you like. Well, the room holds up to 200 people, but I don't imagine you'd like to invite the entire Chilton student body. Plus I'll need to ask your grandparents, your dad and Sherry and some of our lovely friends and neighbors, of course."  
  
"Well, I'll invite Jess, of course. And Lane and Dave, Paris and Jamie. Also Madeline, Louise and whomever they're making out with this week. Hey, do you think Dean would come?"  
  
"The only way to find out is to ask him. And give him a plus one for his new girlfriend."  
  
"Right. Hey are you going to invite Luke? You didn't mention him."  
  
"What's a party without Luke? I'll have to extend him a plus one as well." Lorelai tried not to make a face.  
  
Rory noticed her mother's slight grimace but decided to ignore it.  
  
"Well, then it's finalized, let's have it the Saturday following your graduation ceremony. I'll talk to Sookie about the menu and I'll look into getting some invitations printed."  
  
"Printed invitations? Wow this is fancy. Does this also mean I get a new dress?"  
  
"Nothing's too good for my baby." Lorelai sighed. "So Rory, what are your plans tonight?"  
  
"Oh, Jess and I are going to watch 'Donnie Darko.'"  
  
"Is that the one with Johnny Depp in the mob?"  
  
"No, that's 'Donnie Brasco.' Donnie Darko is sort of the Gen Y version of 'Heathers.' You know, did zero at the box office, but every hipster quotes from its nihilistic yet uplifting script?"  
  
Lorelai nodded. "Hmm, sounds right up my alley. I need a new movie to quote from; the John Hughes oeuvre is getting old. I must see it sometime."  
  
"I'll let you know if it's worth the hype. Although I pray in ten years time, Jake Gyllenhall isn't wandering around Saks looking to shoplift wondering what happened to his once promising career. What have you got going on tonight, Mom?"  
  
"I'm going to see Alex."  
  
"Really? I thought you two were history."  
  
"Well, we are. I'm sort of just reinforcing the fact. I feel really bad though, I think he's under the impression I want to get back with him."  
  
"What gave him that impression?"  
  
"Me."  
  
Rory looked confused. "Huh? You're not playing mind games with him are you?"  
  
"No, I thought I wanted to get back with him and called him. But my session with Dr. Lieberman yesterday kind of threw off my plans."  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"Oh, Dr. Lieberman says I'm in love with Luke." Lorelai tried to sound nonchalant.  
  
"I see. And how does that make you feel?" Rory mirrored her mother's detached tone.  
  
"Gee Rory, I really think you should major in Psych." She paused. "Well, I'm starting to think it makes sense."  
  
"Wow, therapy is really working for you, Mom. Are you gonna tell Luke?"  
  
"I don't know. I guess I want to be sure that I'm really feeling what she says I'm feeling, you know? And then there's that other tiny complication."  
  
"Nicole."  
  
"Yup. I think I'm just gonna wait it out, and see what happens. Has Jess mentioned anything?"  
  
"About Luke and Nicole? Other than the occasional snide remark about Luke's sex life, no. And don't even ask because I'm not going to be a spy for you."  
  
"I'm not asking you, Harriet. Just keep your eyes and ears open while you're there."  
  
"But keep my knees closed, right?" Rory was sarcastic.  
  
"What is that supposed to mean?" Lorelai was surprised by her daughter's tone.  
  
"Well, when I told you last week that Jess and I didn't exactly finish doing the deed you seemed awfully relieved."  
  
"I have mixed emotions about it, yes. Part of me wants it to happen and the other is hoping you'll still change your mind. But Dr. Lieberman told me something yesterday that really clarified my motives."  
  
"What did she say?"  
  
"She said the reason I've been obsessing over your virginity is the fear you'll get pregnant, like you pointed out before. But it goes deeper than that. You see, if you go to college and become the next Christiane Amanpour, then I will have redeemed myself to my parents for messing up my life when I was 16."  
  
"Gee, so there's no pressure on me at all, huh? Mom, you have to know that I don't want to be successful so I can help you prove to Grandma and Grandpa that your life wasn't a waste, I want succeed for myself."  
  
"I'm glad to hear that, honey. I just don't want you to feel like I've put all of these expectations on you to be perfect, because I didn't mean to."  
  
"Mom, nobody's perfect, well maybe except George Clooney. We can only do our best with what we have."  
  
"Ah, the sage child speaks."  
  
"Mom, I'm not a child."  
  
"Again you keep reminding me. So, what are you planning to do about Jess and the sex thing?"  
  
"I don't know. He's been a little distant since it happened. Anytime I try anything, he freezes."  
  
"Well, then don't be aggressive. Let him pursue you."  
  
"What do you mean? I thought you told me that women have to take charge of their men to get anywhere?"  
  
"Well, once you've caught them, yeah. But guys like the chase - it's their instinct, especially when it comes to sex. Maybe the reason Jess, erm, couldn't perform was that he felt a little freaked that you were pursuing him."  
  
"But he told me it was because of the pressure of our first time and what everyone might think."  
  
"Well, it could've been that, but I doubt it was the only reason."  
  
"So you think I should play hard to get?"  
  
"Yeah. Play coy with him. As much as I hate to say it, be a 'Rules' girl."  
  
"Oh come on, that book is sooo stupid."  
  
"Honey, the feminist in me hated it too, but you have to admit, some of it made sense. You can't fight nature."  
  
"So you're saying I should just play it cool and coy and Jess will respond accordingly?"  
  
"Yes, just please make sure you have the condoms handy when he does."  
  
"Yes, Mom. Hey, if this works, is it okay if I sleep over?"  
  
"Yeah, please just call so I won't worry. Oh hell, I'll still worry!"  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------------------  
  
Rory and Jess were sitting on the couch in Luke's apartment, watching the credits roll on "Donnie Darko." The room was dark except for the glow of the TV.  
  
"Wow, what a weird movie. But I really liked it. What did you think, Jess?"  
  
"It was pretty cool. The music was great, Joy Division, The Church, the cover of 'Mad World'..."  
  
"And don't forget Duran Duran." Rory laughed. "But I just loved the way Donnie went back in time to sacrifice his life for the girl he loved, even though at the end of the movie she never knew him."  
  
"Yeah it was pretty romantic." Jess agreed and then was quiet for a moment. "You know, Rory, I would do the same for you."  
  
Rory heard the quiet sincerity in his voice and turned to him. "You would?"  
  
Jess nodded. "Definitely."  
  
Rory's eyes filled with tears. "Oh Jess."  
  
She wanted to kiss him so badly at that moment but remembered Lorelai's advice. A moment later, Jess claimed her mouth with his and she was thankful she had listened to her mother.  
  
A little while later, Jess and Rory were lying in his bed, their limbs tangled under the sheets. Rory was quiet and Jess searched her face for a sign. As beautiful as she was, Rory's placid features always challenged him; he could never quite tell what was going on behind her bright blue eyes. He broke the silence.  
  
"Hey."  
  
Rory smiled. "Hey"  
  
"Well you're smiling, that's a good sign."  
  
"Of course I'm smiling, we just made love." Saying the words aloud made Rory feel a little embarrassed, but she was happy.  
  
"So was everything to your liking?"  
  
"Oh, yes. I liked it. And you?"  
  
"Likewise, but most of all I'm relieved."  
  
"Relieved? You mean because of last time."  
  
Jess nodded and faced the ceiling. "I was so freaked about it all week that I was afraid if we tried again it would happen again."  
  
"Well, then what changed?"  
  
"I just remembered what you said last time, just concentrate on you, not everyone else."  
  
"You see, it pays to listen to me."  
  
Jess kissed her again. "So do you want to stay over? Luke's staying at Nicole's I think."  
  
"You think?"  
  
"Well, when I asked him if he was staying over, he kind of gave me a noncommittal grunt."  
  
"But doesn't Luke always do that?"  
  
"Yeah, but there was something in his body language that was kinda off."  
  
"Hmmm, maybe things aren't so great with Nicole."  
  
"Maybe, but Luke's love life is none of my business, unless of course it intrudes on mine."  
  
"Well we still don't know if Luke's coming back early, but I think I'll take my chances. Hey do you have another t-shirt for me to sleep in?"  
  
Jess got her another shirt while Rory picked up the phone to leave her mom a message. Apparently she hadn't gotten home yet from her non-date with Alex, she hoped everything was okay. A few minutes later she and Jess fell into a blissful slumber.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------  
  
A/N: Okay, R/J fans, hope that was not too sappy. Sorry if I spoiled the movie, I do recommend it highly. Some more L/L at some point, don't worry junkies. I may skip ahead again a few weeks after the next chapter.  
  
Thanks so much for the kind reviews everyone. I'm thinking that this will probably end around chapter twenty or so. I feel the end is coming soon...... 


	17. Morning Sleepyhead

Chapter Seventeen: Morning Sleepyhead  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: Lorelai takes one step forward and three steps backward. Rory tells her about her evening with Jess.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- -------------------------------------  
  
"Morning sleepyhead."  
  
Luke's sexy voice cut through the remaining moments of her dream. Lorelai was desperately trying to remember the delicious details, something about coffee and sex. She rolled over in her bed, opened her eyes and saw Luke standing there, dressed in a flannel robe and not much else; he was carrying a tray of scrambled eggs, toast and coffee.  
  
"Here you go, breakfast in bed." He smiled and set the tray down next to her. As Lorelai sat up, the shoulder strap of her pink nightgown drooped down her arm. Luke approached her and began to kiss the soft skin around her neck and shoulders, and restored the strap to its proper resting place.  
  
"What did I do to deserve breakfast in bed?" She asked slyly.  
  
"Do you really have to ask?" Luke planted a soft kiss on her lips.  
  
"Oh, I see, so all have to do is give you a night of raw passion and you'll feed me in bed?"  
  
"Something like that." He continued to kiss her neck.  
  
"Gee Luke, if I had known that, I would've jumped your bones years ago."  
  
He gave her a beatific smile. "That's okay. This was definitely worth waiting for."  
  
"So are you gonna stop kissing me and let me eat my breakfast?"  
  
"Sure. I just want to say one thing I didn't get to say last night."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"I love you, Lorelai."  
  
Her eyes filled with tears upon hearing the quiet sincerity in his voice. "I love you, too." Lorelai forgot all about her breakfast as she lost herself in Luke's passionate kiss.  
  
"Morning Sleepyhead."  
  
Alex's voice cut through the remaining moments of her dream. Lorelai was desperately trying to remember the delicious details, something about sex and Luke and breakfast in bed.  
  
Lorelai rolled over in bed, opened her eyes and saw Alex standing there, dressed in his robe and not much else; carrying a tray of bagels, lox and coffee.  
  
"Some dream you were having, huh? Was it about me because I heard you say 'I love you?'  
  
He put the tray on the bed in front of her as Lorelai sat up, dressed in one of his old fraternity t-shirts. "I love you, too." He gave her a good morning kiss.  
  
Lorelai was having major deja vu. "So what did I do to deserve breakfast in bed?"  
  
"We got back together last night, we just had the best makeup sex ever and you have to ask?"  
  
"Oh, right." She looked confused.  
  
"Sweetheart, are you okay?"  
  
Lorelai nodded. "Yeah, I think I need coffee."  
  
"Well, I'm the right guy for that." Alex placed her tray on her lap and Lorelai picked up the steaming mug. She sipped the warm liquid, it was delicious but it wasn't the same as Luke's.  
  
Alex sat on the bed beside her. "So, Lorelai, I want to ask you something. I kind of wanted to ask you last night but we didn't really get the chance."  
  
Lorelai put her mug down and started to chew on a bagel. "What is it, Alex?"  
  
"Um, I know that Rory is leaving for college in August, right?"  
  
"Yeah, the last week in August. Why, did you want to go on vacation?"  
  
"No. Lorelai, when you and I went on our little hiatus, I wasn't really sure you'd want to resume our relationship. But when I got your call the other day, I was so happy to hear from you. I wasn't sure if you felt the same way about me that I do about you, but now I know. And I want to ask you something."  
  
Hearing his serious tone, Lorelai froze. Alex took a breath. "Lorelai, would you like to move in with me?"  
  
Lorelai let out a sigh of relief. "For a second there I thought you were proposing!"  
  
Alex was a little hurt at her reaction but tried not to show it. "Oh, no! I don't think we're ready for that. But maybe one day...that's why I want us to live together. I mean once Rory's gone, you'll have that empty house all to yourself. Maybe you'd like to trade it in for domestic bliss with me."  
  
"Oh, Alex, I don't know. I mean I love that house. Yeah, it's got its problems, but I just spent all this money fixing it up. And Rory's gonna be coming home lots of weekends, she needs her room."  
  
"That's okay, I have a spare bedroom. Rory can stay here when she visits."  
  
"You seem to have put a lot of thought into this."  
  
"Well yeah, I love you and I want to live with you."  
  
"Alex, I'm not sure....."  
  
"Well, you don't have to make a decision now, I mean Rory's not leaving for another three months, right? Just think about it, okay?"  
  
Lorelai sighed. "Okay." She continued to eat her breakfast, even though the guilt in the pit of her stomach gnawed at her.  
  
"So, would you like to spend the day with me? We can celebrate our reunion."  
  
"Alex, I'd love to but I've plans with Rory."  
  
Alex was a little disappointed. "That's okay. Let's do something next weekend."  
  
As Lorelai drove home, she cursed herself. Things didn't turn out the way she planned. She had gone to Alex's to tell him the truth; that she was going to end things. She even planned to tell him that she had been in therapy and realized she was falling for someone else.  
  
But once she got to his place, Alex had gone all out. He looked more handsome than she remembered and had cooked her a gourmet dinner, with a bottle of her favorite wine and tiramisu for dessert, no less. He had also given her a dozen red roses.  
  
As she savored her dinner, the idea of breaking it off permanently with such a great catch seemed less and less appealing. And once they wound up in bed, forget it. So what if she was falling for Luke. What did it matter if he was unavailable? Why be single and pining when she could be wined and dined by the coffee king of Litchfield County?  
  
But now, he wanted her to move in with him. Lorelai wished she had heeded Sookie's advice, she was leading him on. She had to do something before she found herself accepting another ill-conceived marriage proposal. She didn't want to be starring in "Max, the sequel."  
  
When Lorelai got home, it was already ten in the morning.  
  
"Rory? Mommy's home."  
  
Rory stepped out of her bathroom, dressed in a robe.  
  
"Hey Mom. Where have you been?" She noticed her mother's disheveled appearance.  
  
"At Alex's."  
  
"Something tells me that your plans went awry."  
  
"Very perceptive of you. But first I want to hear all about you and Jess."  
  
Rory smiled at her mother.  
  
"Oh honey, are you a woman now?"  
  
Rory nodded, a little embarrassed. "I guess so."  
  
Lorelai hugged her daughter. "Oh wow, this is a Judy Blume moment. How was it, without too many details?"  
  
"It was good, I guess, since I have nothing to compare it too. I took your advice and let Jess take the lead. And boy did he ever. And before you ask, yes, we were protected."  
  
"I'm so relieved. So how was the movie?"  
  
"It was weird but good. I think you'd like it. I also think the movie was partly responsible for the big event. I won't spoil it for you but the hero makes a very romantic gesture and Jess told me he'd do the same for me. He was so sweet."  
  
"Oh, so you're saying if I want to get someone into bed I should rent 'Donnie Darko'?  
  
"You mean like Luke? I'm not sure if he'd like that movie, then again I'm not sure what movies Luke likes."  
  
"Rory, the only place where Luke is in my bed is in my dreams. Alex, on the other hand, wants to take up residence there."  
  
"So what happened?"  
  
"I went over there fully intending to tell him that I wasn't interested in seeing him anymore. But he cooked me a romantic dinner, complete with wine and roses. And the idea of not seeing him seemed less appealing as the night wore on." She paused. "But get this, now he wants me to move in with him, when you go away to school."  
  
"No way."  
  
"Way, Garth. What the hell am I gonna do?"  
  
"Mom, you have to break up with him, be strong."  
  
"But I don't know, I mean I don't want to be pining for Luke; that would be so pathetic."  
  
"But Mom, Luke pined for you, maybe need to see what it feels like."  
  
"Rory that makes no sense. Even if I am pining for Luke, I'd rather do it while I'm dating someone."  
  
"Mom, none of this makes sense. The only way it will is if you and Luke are honest with each other. I mean Jess and I lived in denial for months and it made us crazy. But now he and I are happy and in love."  
  
"Well, Alex told me I don't have to make a decision about the cohabitation thing until the time you leave so...."  
  
"So you're gonna date him through the entire summer?"  
  
"Well, not the entire summer, but I'm sure I can find the nerve to dump him before then."  
  
"Well, I'd do it sooner than that. Jess seems to think that there's trouble in Nicole-ville."  
  
"Really, what did he say?"  
  
"Nothing specific, but he noticed a change in Luke's body language when he talks about her."  
  
"Did Luke come home early last night?"  
  
"Um, no. I didn't see him. I left Jess' really early, just after seven. Jess had to open the diner."  
  
"Well, if he spent the night with Ally McBeal then things must still be good."  
  
"Mom, maybe you should talk to Luke and find out. Have you spent any quality time with him recently?"  
  
"Other than our usual breakfast banter no, I mean he's not around much lately."  
  
Rory nodded. "Yeah, I've noticed that, too. I wonder what he's been up to."  
  
Lorelai knew what Luke was up to, or at least she thought she did. She wasn't about to share her theory with Rory. That was Luke's private business, although if she had a chance to view his file, she wouldn't turn down the opportunity.  
  
A/N: Sorry for the dream within a dream thing and for Lorelai's decision not to break up with Alex. She may be making progress with her therapy, but she's not done by a long shot. Anyway, the next chapter will skip forward, most likely to Rory's graduation party; it will focus on L/L, like the rest of the story..... 


	18. Woman on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdow...

Chapter Eighteen: Woman on the Verge of a Nervous Breakdown, part 2  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: Lorelai and Luke reflect on the past and the future on the day of Rory's graduation party.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------  
  
Lorelai took a walk in the garden behind the Inn. She went over to the potting shed, where she lived with Rory the first few years of her life. The shed had been their refuge all those years ago, when she wanted to be anywhere than under her parents' well appointed roof. It seemed like a lifetime ago, and yet like yesterday.  
  
Lorelai wanted to go inside for another look, but she knew the sight of the rosebud wallpaper would start the waterworks. She promised herself she wouldn't bawl today, the day of Rory's graduation party.  
  
Instead she stood in front of the lake and watched two swans gliding over the water. She and Rory loved those swans and had named them Nick and Nora, after the "The Thin Man" movies. Of course, Nick and Nora had probably gone to swan heaven, but she decided to these two swans were worthy of inheriting the names. She sat down on a bench in her lavender party dress and began to talk to them.  
  
"Nick and Nora, you are so lucky to be swans. You'll just swan along for the rest of your lives, having guests ooh and ah over your long necks. Occasionally you'll duck your heads into the water and eat a fish or two. Or you'll have folks throw pieces of Sookie's dinner rolls at you. And I've had her dinner rolls, so you're in for a treat. You'll never have to worry about your baby swan going off to Yale and leaving you with an empty nest. Hey, do swans have nests?"  
  
Lorelai was unaware she was being watched. Luke was standing about twenty feet away behind the bench, he had taken a walk. He stopped when he saw Lorelai having a one sided conversation with the swans. He wondered if she had truly lost her mind.  
  
"Lorelai, I guess therapy isn't helping much if you're talking to the swans...."  
  
His voice startled her and she turned around.  
  
"Nick and Nora...."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"The swans are named Nick and Nora."  
  
Luke sat beside her on the bench. "So, are they talking back?"  
  
"Afraid not. They're kind of shy."  
  
"So what are you doing sitting out here by yourself?"  
  
"I'm not by myself, I have the swans and you. By the way, what are you doing out here?"  
  
"Well, Taylor was talking Nicole's ear off about real estate empires and the kids were slam dancing, neither activity really appealed to me so I took a walk. You know I've never really explored the grounds of the Inn before, it's really beautiful."  
  
"Yes, it is. And it's all mine...well mine and Sookie's. You know, when I first came here all those years ago, when Rory was a baby, I never in a million years thought I would own this place. But here I am...."  
  
"You've come a long way, baby." He chuckled. "Hey, didn't you used to live somewhere on the grounds?"  
  
Lorelai nodded. "Yup, over there, in the potting shed. Do you want to see it? I mean it's not much, but..."  
  
Luke smiled. "I'd love to."  
  
They stood up and Lorelai led Luke over to the potting shed, opened the door and they stood just over the threshold.  
  
"It's smaller than I imagined."  
  
"How did you imagine it?"  
  
"Um, I mean I've never really imagined it. It just seems really, um, cozy for two people to share."  
  
Lorelai smirked. "This coming from someone who lived in his dad's office for years under the delusion it was an apartment?"  
  
Luke shrugged. "Well, it was just me for a long time, and I did expand for Jess, you know."  
  
"Well, Rory and I only lived here until she was 11. I knew we'd have to get out of here before she hit puberty. Two women plus one tiny bathroom equals one ugly scene."  
  
"Well, at least the wallpaper's nice."  
  
"Yeah, I used to fall asleep staring at those rosebuds. I'd dream of moving into our own house and getting Rory into Harvard. I also used to dream that I would marry Rob Lowe. You know, post 'St. Elmo's Fire', pre sex scandal and pre 'West Wing'."  
  
"Well, at least one of those dreams came true. And Rory is going to Yale. And too bad about Rob, but I think you've done okay without him."  
  
Lorelai sneezed. "It's kind of dusty in here, have you had enough of the grand tour?"  
  
"Sure, let's go. And gesundheit."  
  
They walked back to the bench. "You don't want to go back to the party?" Luke asked.  
  
"Not yet. I'd like to hear what Nick and Nora have to say about Rob's decision to leave "The West Wing." She paused. "How about you, going back?"  
  
"Oh not yet. I've never heard a swan give showbiz advice." Luke sat beside Lorelai.  
  
A few moments passed in silence.  
  
"You know, Luke. I don't think I want to go back to the party."  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Well, it's Rory's day. She's having so much fun with her friends and Jess and everyone, I feel a little out of place. And everyone's been asking me how I'm holding up, like I'm about to have a nervous breakdown the minute Rory goes away to school. If one more person asks me how I'm doing, I'm really going to have a nervous breakdown!"  
  
"Well, I'm glad you spoke first, because I was going to ask you that. But you seem okay to me, I've noticed a change in you the past couple of months. I'm assuming therapy is working out?"  
  
"Well, it was a little rough in the beginning, with the caffeine withdrawal but Dr. Lieberman's helped me discover a lot of things about myself. Things I wasn't ready to face before, but I'm starting to work through them."  
  
"Anything you want to share?"  
  
"Well for one thing, she helped me see that I've pretty much built my entire identity around the fact that I got pregnant so young and ran away from home. That was my defining moment. Most people have them, usually it's some kind of traumatic experience, some kind of abuse, a birth of a child or a death of a parent."  
  
Luke nodded. "Makes sense. Hmm, my moment would probably have to be the death of my dad."  
  
"Hey, it took me months and you figured yours out in two seconds? Luke, I just saved you lots of money in therapy bills!"  
  
Luke felt a little uncomfortable, if she only knew he was seeing Dr. Lieberman, too. Lorelai hoped that Luke would take this opportunity to tell her about his clandestine visits to Dr. Lieberman's office. She searched his face for a sign but he wasn't showing any.  
  
"Anyway, she helped me see that now Rory is growing up, I need to find other things to build my identity on."  
  
"Such as?"  
  
"Well buying and owning the Inn is one. The other would be finding a fulfilling relationship, you know, getting married and having more children. And of course, being a mom to Rory, she does still need me."  
  
Luke nodded. "Of course she needs you. That'll never change."  
  
Lorelai looked him in the eye. "I'm just not sure about the whole fulfilling relationship part."  
  
Luke stared back. "What do you mean, what about Alex?"  
  
"Alex? Luke, did you see him at all during the party?"  
  
He shook his head. "Um, no. I thought maybe he had to work or something."  
  
"He's not here. We broke up a few days ago."  
  
Luke was surprised. "What happened?"  
  
"The short story was he wanted me to move in with him. We'd been dating close to six months and he really wanted us to live together. He had a plan. Date six months, live together six months, be engaged for six months and then get married....  
  
"For six months. And then be in divorce court for six months?" Luke finished.  
  
"Yeah, I didn't realize I was on a timetable. I was just taking it all in, enjoying it. But apparently he had all these expectations that I wasn't ready to deal with..."  
  
"Yeah, I hate when they get all 'where is this thing going?' I mean I'm not a psychic, you know?"  
  
"Que sera, sera. Whatever will be, will be the future's not ours to see, que sera sera." Lorelai sang.  
  
"Doris Day or "Heathers?" Luke chuckled.  
  
"'Heathers' of course. Why, Luke Danes, just when I've assigned you to the pop culturally illiterate heap, you go and surprise me."  
  
"Well Jess loves that film and I just kind of got sucked in by the dialogue. How many movies do you know contain the phrase "F*ck me gently with a chainsaw?"  
  
"Luke, are you propositioning me?" They both laughed as Luke turned a light shade of crimson.  
  
"Um, what were we talking about?"  
  
"You and Nicole."  
  
"Right. Nicole's kind of been giving me the "where are we going" business lately. I mean, we're approaching our six month anniversary and I'm kind of dreading it. I feel like she's expecting something."  
  
"Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out, Luke." Lorelai gave him a pointed look.  
  
"I hope so." He saw Nicole heading in their direction. "Speak of the devil...."  
  
Nicole approached the bench. "There you are, Luke. I've wondered where you disappeared to. Hello, Lorelai."  
  
Lorelai smiled wanly. "Hey, Nicole."  
  
Luke stood up, feeling a little caught. "Nicole, I just took a walk and ran into Lorelai. I see you were able to escape Taylor's interrogation about property laws?"  
  
"Oh, Taylor's not so bad. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger, right? Anyway, Luke, I'm ready to leave, the party's winding down. And Lorelai, I think Rory's looking for you."  
  
"Well, then I guess I better get back to the party. Um, thanks for coming, the both of you."  
  
Luke smiled. "I wouldn't have missed it. Lorelai, tell Rory congratulations again for me."  
  
"Sure thing, Luke."  
  
Lorelai watched as Nicole linked her arm through Luke's and they headed towards the parking lot. She sat on the bench for a few more minutes, reflecting on their conversation. She hoped that Luke would figure out what to do, with or without Dr. Lieberman's guidance. 


	19. Secrets and Cell Phones

Chapter Nineteen: Secrets and Cell Phones  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: Fast forward to mid August. Lorelai has another session with Dr. L and runs into a familiar face.  
  
===================================================================  
  
"Well Lorelai, congratulations. After four months, you can now stop taking your sleeping pills." Dr. Lieberman shook Lorelai's hand.  
  
"Wow, I feel like I'm graduating or something. Hey does this mean I can drink regular coffee again?"  
  
"I had a feeling you'd say that. I'm afraid not, you will still be very sensitive to caffeine now that you're off the pills. So please continue to cut back if you want to be able to sleep well."  
  
"You can't blame me for trying, right? Hey how about my therapy, how much longer do you think I'll need to see you?"  
  
"Well that depends on you, as always. I mean, you've made a lot of progress with Rory's independence, and admitting your feelings for Luke. But I want to see how you do after next week, when Rory leaves for Yale. And you still haven't told Luke how you feel. And then there's your relationship with your parents, which we really haven't delved into yet....."  
  
"So you're saying I'll be here until I'm 80, right? How's that Jimmy Choo collection coming?"  
  
"You can come shoe shopping with me if you want." Dr. Lieberman laughed. "Nicole and I are going shopping on Saturday, if you'd like to join us."  
  
"You've got to be kidding. Why would I want to shop with the competition?"  
  
"Nicole's great fun. Just because she's Luke's girlfriend doesn't mean you can't get to know her better."  
  
"Thanks for the invitation, but I'll pass."  
  
"You know, I probably shouldn't say this since Nicole's a former patient of mine but....."  
  
"But?"  
  
"I'm not sure if Nicole is going to be Luke's girlfriend much longer, she's thinking of dumping him."  
  
"Get out."  
  
"Lorelai this is my office, I'm not leaving."  
  
"You know what I mean. I don't believe you, is this some kind of role playing thing?"  
  
"No, when I talked to her to make plans, she mentioned that she's tired of his fear of commitment. She also seems to think that he's taken with someone else."  
  
"Really? Who?"  
  
"She didn't say. But Lorelai, I know you've been afraid to tell Luke how you feel and maybe this is the push that you need. Just think about it, okay?"  
  
"Okay, I will. And I guess you're human under that Prada suit."  
  
"Great. Then I'll see you next Friday?"  
  
"Oh I can't Friday. I'm taking Rory to Yale. It's the big day."  
  
"So sorry, I didn't realize the date. Then I'll see you the following week."  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------  
  
Lorelai sat in her car in the parking lot of the medical building. She fished around in her bag, looking for her cell phone. She wanted to tell Sookie that she was running late for their meeting. After dumping the contents of her purse on the passenger seat, she realized that she must've left her phone in the doctor's office. She must've taken it out of her purse when she was making her next appointment.  
  
Lorelai got out of her jeep and walked quickly back into the building. She walked right up to the receptionist.  
  
"Hi Carol. I think I left my cell phone here?"  
  
Carol nodded. "Yes, this is yours? I can't tell you how many patients forget their phones. It happens all the time. I'm thinking of putting a reminder sign on the wall."  
  
"Thanks so much, I appreciate it."  
  
Lorelai was about to leave when a blur of flannel caught the corner of her vision. She turned around and approached an empty chair next to Luke. He seemed to be engrossed in an issue of "Sports Illustrated."  
  
"Fancy meeting you here."  
  
Luke was startled by her voice. "Oh Lorelai, um, hey." He looked embarrassed. "What are you doing here?"  
  
"Funny, I was just going to ask you the same question. I'll go first. I just finished a session and I forgot my cell phone so I came back to retrieve it."  
  
"I swear, that damn thing is probably giving you brain cancer. The first sign of brain cancer is forgetfulness, you know."  
  
She crossed her arms. "Don't try to distract me with a Luke rant. You still haven't told me why you're here. And don't tell me you're here to ask Dr. Lieberman for advice on a gift for Nicole's birthday or something lame like that."  
  
Luke was speechless. Damn, she knew him all too well.  
  
"It's okay, Luke. I know you're in therapy, too."  
  
Luke was angry. "Did Dr. Lieberman tell you? What ever happened to confidentiality?"  
  
"Calm down. She hasn't said a word to me. I, um, saw you one day a few months ago, getting out of your truck in the parking lot."  
  
"But how did you know I was seeing her? There are plenty of other doctors in this building. You're not stalking me, are you?"  
  
Now it was Lorelai's turn to be embarrassed. "Um, no. But when I saw you I got curious and followed you."  
  
"So you are stalking me." Luke crossed his arms in front of him and gave her a smug smile.  
  
"Well, forgive me for me being curious. I mean you know I'm seeing her, but why are you keeping this a secret?"  
  
"Well, Lorelai, no offense, but you kind of have a big mouth."  
  
Lorelai was offended. "I may have a big mouth but if someone asks for my discretion I certainly respect their wishes. Especially when it's someone I consider a good friend. I tell you all sorts of things and I expect you to trust me the way I trust you."  
  
Luke felt bad that he had hurt her feelings. "I'm sorry Lorelai. Hey, now that I know that you know my secret, promise me it will stay that way?"  
  
"Luke I swear. And just so you know, I've known since April, and I've told no one, not even Rory."  
  
Luke was surprised she had known that long and kept it to herself. "Lorelai, I feel like a jerk. I'm sorry I said you have a big mouth."  
  
"Luke Danes, the doctor will see you now." Carol's voice interrupted them.  
  
Lorelai smiled. "Apology accepted. Now go to your session like a good little patient."  
  
Lorelai watched him go into Dr. Lieberman's office. Man, she wished she could be a fly on the wall.  
  
  
  
A/N: Yeah, so Dr. Lieberman was a little unprofessional in gossiping with Lorelai. I guess the two of them have gotten a little friendly over the past few months. But she wasn't betraying any doctor/patient confidentiality since Nicole isn't her patient. And I would imagine she's incredibly frustrated listening to L/L whine about being afraid to confront the other with their true feelings....  
  
Speaking of which, that little issue will be resolved in the next chapter.....  
  
Note to Lauren: the make-up sex reference has nothing to do with "Seinfeld." That show sooo irritates me, even if SP and LG were once guests on the show. And I'm a Jew from Long Island, you'd think I'd like it... 


	20. There's No Place Like Home

Chapter Twenty: There's no place like home  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: Luke and Lorelai finally! take a step forward....  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------  
  
It was a steamy late August night and Lorelai drove her jeep into the town center; she was returning from dropping Rory at Yale for the fall semester. The day was busy with finding Rory's dorm assignment, helping her unpack and of course, meeting her new roommate. Jill was a Stuyvesant grad from New York who was planning to major in Art History. She and Rory hit it off right away and were already swapping books and CDs. Lorelai took them out to dinner at Hector's Tacos in New Haven and hoped that this would become another Gilmore food tradition.  
  
She pulled up in front of the diner and noticed Luke doing his usual end of the day tally and cleanup. The sign on the door was flipped to "closed" but Lorelai hoped he would make an exception for her, like he usually did.  
  
She rapped on the door and Luke looked up. He wasn't too surprised to see her, considering today had been the big day. Rory had dropped by earlier that day to say goodbye and have a prolonged good-bye kiss with Jess. They were planning to stay together and Rory would come home weekends to spend time with him. Jess, meanwhile, planned to take classes at the community college in Hartford and split the rest of his time between the diner and Wal-mart.  
  
He approached the door and opened it for her.  
  
"Thanks, Luke."  
  
"Coffee?"  
  
"You read my mind. Do you have any regular left? I really need it."  
  
"Sure."  
  
"What no fight, no lecture?"  
  
"I'm out of decaf."  
  
"Don't tell Dr. Lieberman on me, okay?"  
  
He nodded as he poured her a cup. "Your secret's safe with me."  
  
Lorelai sipped her coffee. "Mmmm, this is heavenly. Have I told you lately that you're my angel?"  
  
Luke wondered if she was just doing her usual Lorelai flirty thing. Give her coffee, and she'll feed your fantasies.  
  
"No, not lately. So, how did everything go?"  
  
"Fine, I guess. I mean it was a pain in the ass lugging all of Rory's stuff up three flights of stairs to her room. I mean, I know the dorms are old and have all this academic history, but do you think they could splurge for an elevator? I mean with the amount of room and board we're paying, they should have bellboys."  
  
"Yale's not a hotel, it's an academic institution."  
  
"Yeah, I know. But at least Rory's happy and she likes her new roommate, so that's all that matters."  
  
"Good for her, I'm glad she's adjusting. Jess, meanwhile is all bummed about her leaving."  
  
"Well, I'm with Jess. Luke, this sucks."  
  
"You seem to be doing fine."  
  
"I was. I didn't even cry when we said good-bye. Leaving her at Yale wasn't the hard part, it's the coming back to an empty house. Luke, I don't know if I want to go home."  
  
"Ah, the empty nest."  
  
"Yeah, it's gonna be so quiet there without her. Well, not like Rory was ever the loud type. But it just won't be the same." She paused as tears welled up in her eyes. "They say your home is where your heart it, well without Rory there, it won't feel like much of a home."  
  
Lorelai began to cry and let out the tears she had been holding back all day.  
  
Luke was still for a moment but he could never stand to see Lorelai cry. He came around from behind the counter and took Lorelai into his arms. She got off her stool and embraced him tightly as she cried into his shoulder. He gently stroked her hair and back and murmured words of comfort as she shuddered against him.  
  
A minute or two later, her tears subsided but Lorelai didn't want to let go. He was offering her the love, comfort and safety she craved and didn't want to give that up so soon. Neither did Luke; he noticed that her tears had stopped but she was still holding on. He thought he would feel uncomfortable but something was different. Lorelai wasn't just seeking comfort from him, it was something more. He pulled back a bit to look at her and she gave him a shy smile. He grabbed a napkin off the counter and handed it to her.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"You're welcome."  
  
Then the awkwardness set in and Lorelai pulled away and turned her attention back to her coffee cup. As she wiped her face and took another sip, he wondered if he had seen something in her eyes. Or was it just his imagination?  
  
"My coffee's getting cold."  
  
"Well, that's the last of the batch, I'm afraid."  
  
"Hey, Luke, would you do me a favor?"  
  
"Uh, oh. Lorelai I'm not making more coffee, sorry. No whining and pestering, please."  
  
"No, it's not about the coffee. Would you mind taking me home?"  
  
Luke looked confused. "But your jeep is parked outside."  
  
She gave him a pointed look. "You could drive me."  
  
Luke decided not to protest, she was asking him to take her home. Lorelai never asked him that before.  
  
"Okay, just give me a minute to lock up."  
  
A few minutes later, Luke pulled the jeep into Lorelai's driveway. He took the keys out of the ignition and handed them to her. He got out of the driver's seat and went around to the passenger side to open her door.  
  
"Such service, thank you."  
  
"Well, I figured after the day you've had, you deserve it."  
  
They walked to her front door and Lorelai unlocked it. Luke gave her an uncertain look but she nodded and smiled at him, so he followed her into the house.  
  
Luke felt nervous despite the fact he had been inside Lorelai's house many times before, mostly to fix things. He had even been there before late at night while they hunted around for Stella. He was pretty sure when Lorelai called him frantically that night that she wanted to do more than look for a baby chick. But that's all they wound up doing, to his disappointment.  
  
Now, it was almost three years later and he still wasn't sure what Lorelai wanted from him. He decided, as always, to let her take the lead. He followed her into the kitchen as she flipped on the light.  
  
"Do you want some tea?"  
  
Luke nodded. "Sure, what have you got?"  
  
"Oh, I have some peppermint, your favorite."  
  
"It's actually not my favorite anymore. Nicole introduced me to this lemon- ginger blend stuff. But I'll take the peppermint."  
  
Nicole. The mention of her name was like a nail in her heart.  
  
"Oh, so how is Nicole?" Lorelai tried to sound nonchalant.  
  
"She's good, I guess." Luke shrugged.  
  
"What do you mean, you guess?"  
  
"We broke up a few days ago."  
  
It was good Lorelai's back was to Luke's as she prepared the tea because she had broken into a big smile of relief. So Dr. Lieberman was right, Nicole must've dumped Luke.  
  
She turned around and gave him her best 'concerned friend' look.  
  
"I'm sorry. Do you want to talk about it?"  
  
"Not really." He paused. "Um, I guess things weren't working out. She wanted something more permanent, and I didn't."  
  
"Sounds like me and Alex." She paused. "Except in my case, I realized I was falling for someone else."  
  
Luke looked surprised. "Really?"  
  
"Yeah, I realized I was in denial about it, too. Dr. Lieberman helped me see what I didn't want to face."  
  
"Yeah, she did that for me, too."  
  
"You mean you're in love with someone, too?"  
  
Luke nodded. "Yeah, but the truth hurts."  
  
The tea kettle whistled and Lorelai got up to get Luke his tea. "What do you mean by that?"  
  
"Well, the person I love doesn't return the gesture." Luke said quietly.  
  
She set the tea cup in front of him and sat down again.  
  
"How do you know? Have you ever told her? I'm assuming it's a she unless there was some other big secret you're in denial about."  
  
Luke chuckled. "Oh, yeah, I've been carrying a torch for Taylor. All my hostility towards him was just misguided passion."  
  
Lorelai laughed. "I knew it! Although I thought it was Kirk. He never has any girlfriends around. And neither do you, except for Nicole. And she was your beard."  
  
She paused and grew serious again. "So this mystery woman, have you told her?"  
  
Luke shook his head. "No." He took a sip of tea.  
  
"Why not? I think she'd like to know, maybe she's just waiting for the word from you."  
  
"Maybe. Well, what about you, Lorelai? This guy you're in love with. Have you told him?"  
  
Lorelai shook her head. "No, until very recently he was seriously involved with someone, I'm not sure if this is the right time to tell him. I don't want to be the rebound chick."  
  
He looked her in the eye. "I doubt you'd be the rebound chick. I'd even bet on the diner that you're the one he's been waiting for all his life."  
  
She held his gaze. "Well, in that case, I'd bet on the Inn that you're the one she's been waiting her whole life for, too."  
  
Luke put down his cup. "You're that sure?"  
  
She smiled at him. "As sure as you are, diner betting man."  
  
The kitchen was silent, except for the clock ticking on the wall, while the meaning behind their not-so-veiled conversation set in. Neither was sure what to do next.  
  
Lorelai drummed her fingers on the kitchen table. "So, what now?"  
  
"Um, another cup of tea?" Luke suggested. Lorelai started to get up but he motioned to her to sit down. "I'll get it."  
  
Luke picked up his cup and saucer and brought it to the kettle. He poured the water into the cup even though his hands were shaking.  
  
"Careful, it's hot." Lorelai's voice closed in behind him as she took the tea kettle out of his grasp. "You don't want to burn yourself."  
  
Luke set the teacup on the counter and watched her watching him. "Yeah, I don't want to get hurt."  
  
"Neither do I, if we're both careful, we won't." She whispered.  
  
Luke was leaning with his back to the counter and Lorelai was just inches in front of him. She took Luke's trembling hands in hers and pulled them down on either side of her hips. She deliberately kept her voice low and soft. "I want you to hold me again. Like you did tonight in the diner."  
  
Luke nodded, not quite believing what was happening. "I can do that."  
  
"Only this time, I won't cry. Although I can't promise anything."  
  
Luke pulled her close and she put her arms around him again. They just stood there for a moment. They were in hyper awareness of each other's breath, heartbeat and the slow realization that their embrace was as inevitable as the loud ticking of the kitchen clock over their heads.  
  
Luke pulled back slightly to look at her. This time he looked into her eyes and saw it. It wasn't just something he had imagined. Encouraged by that, he leaned in to kiss her. They took their time, savoring the kiss. It was soft and chaste, neither wanted to rush for fear the other might retreat to their respective corners and try to explain away what happened.  
  
Lorelai pulled back first. "Kirk and Taylor are going to be so jealous."  
  
Luke chuckled; leave it to Lorelai to cut the tension with a silly joke. "Yeah, too bad for them."  
  
They were still in each other's arms and suddenly Lorelai had an idea.  
  
"Hey, Luke, have you ever seen 'Donnie Darko?'  
  
"No. Isn't that some Johnny Depp mob flick?"  
  
"No, that's 'Donnie Brasco.' Rory recommended it; she said it's the Gen Y version of 'Heathers.' I know you like that movie, so maybe we could watch it sometime?"  
  
"Sure, you mean like a date?"  
  
Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Well, yeah. Unless you don't want to date me and go straight to the sex part."  
  
Luke turned close to several shades of red. "Um, well not to be presumptuous or anything but I'm hoping the dating might eventually include the sex part."  
  
"Well, you won't know unless you say 'yes' to my invitation."  
  
Luke smiled. "Yes, I'd love to see that 'Donnie what's-his-name' movie with you."  
  
"Good, how about tomorrow night? Why don't you close early and come over at nine? I'll make the popcorn and go to the video store."  
  
"So all I have to do is show up?"  
  
"Yes, I'm making this very easy for you."  
  
"Okay, then nine it is. Should I bring anything, maybe some food from the diner?"  
  
"Sure."  
  
Lorelai pulled away from him and noticed the time, it was a little after ten.  
  
"Luke, isn't it getting close to your bedtime?"  
  
"Is that your way of telling me you want me to leave?"  
  
"Well, no, but maybe I should get used to being in this house by myself."  
  
"Good idea. Although, I have a strong feeling you won't be spending too much time here alone."  
  
"Which is why I'd like to enjoy the quiet time while I have it."  
  
"So you'll be okay?"  
  
Lorelai nodded. "I'm gonna be."  
  
Lorelai walked Luke to the front door. He leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss goodnight while she squeezed his hand.  
  
"Sorry, you have to walk back without an escort."  
  
"That's okay, I'll be fine. Good night Lorelai."  
  
"Goodnight Luke."  
  
Lorelai closed the door and smiled to herself, taking in this bittersweet moment. With Rory now living at the dorm, she did feel a little lonely. But with her and Luke finally headed in the right direction, she felt she was starting a brand new chapter in her life.  
  
Lorelai decided to pick up the phone and check in with Rory, she did tell her she'd ring her when she got home. She also couldn't wait to share the latest development in her love life.  
  
  
  
A/N: Forgive me for not including a Rory/Jess or Rory/Lorelai sappy good- bye scene. I wanted to get straight to the good stuff.  
  
Epilogue? Anyone? Bueller? I will most likely write one but not one where they're happily married with a brood of little Lukes and Lorelais. While those are nice, I feel that others have already covered that ground. 


	21. Epilogue Parent's Weekend

Chapter 21: EPILOGUE aka Parent's Weekend  
  
Author: Gluglug  
  
Spoiler Warning/Timing: Late-Third Season  
  
Rating: PG -13  
  
Disclaimer: Gilmore Girls and all characters are property of The Dubba Dubba Dubba WB, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions and Amy Sherman- Palladino. They don't belong to me, just borrowing.  
  
Summary: This is sort of an epilogue, it takes place in November 2003.  
  
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It was Thursday evening and Lorelai heard the phone rang. "Hello?"  
  
"Hey, Mom."  
  
"Rory, how is my beautiful and brainy offspring?"  
  
"Not feeling so beautiful and my brain hurts. You wouldn't believe the amount of work I have to do. And I thought Chilton whipped my butt when it came to endless reading assignments."  
  
"Well, at least you're prepared. Besides the hellish schoolwork, how is everything?"  
  
"Well, Jill and I joined a Dorothy Parker reading group, and we've met some really cool people. There's also this cute guy who keeps flirting with me. I've told him I have a boyfriend but he doesn't seem to get it."  
  
"Rory no matter how many books these guys read, they're still ruled by one organ."  
  
"Don't be gross."  
  
"I'm restraining myself." Lorelai chuckled.  
  
"Hey, I want to ask you something. Parents' weekend is coming up in a couple of weeks and I'd love you to come. I asked Dad but he can't come, he has to fly to LA for some business trip. But Jess is planning to visit that weekend, too. Maybe you'd like to invite Luke?"  
  
"Oh, honey, I'll definitely be there but I dunno about Luke. If he's more than 50 feet from the diner alarms go off. If Jess is coming to see you, he won't leave the place to Caesar and I doubt he'd close up for the weekend."  
  
"Well, just ask him, maybe you can use your persuasive charm. Hey, I hate to chat and run but I've got to get back to my reading for Psych class. I'm thinking of minoring in it, if I can take on the workload."  
  
"I guess your informational discussion with Dr. Lieberman went well?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. She's really cool, thanks for setting that up. And anyone who could get you and Luke together is a miracle worker."  
  
"Yeah, she's a modern day Annie Sullivan. Okay, I'll let you get back to your reading. Miss you and love you."  
  
"I love you too, Mom. Bye"  
  
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Later that evening, Lorelai entered the diner. It was after eight and there were only a few customers around. Luke looked up and smiled when he saw his girlfriend come up to the counter.  
  
"Hi Lukey."  
  
"Don't call me that."  
  
"Okay, Lucas."  
  
"Not that either."  
  
"How about Butch?"  
  
Luke gave her an exasperated sigh. "Will you stop that? You know what to call me."  
  
Lorelai raised her eyebrows suggestively. "Big strong sexy diner man?"  
  
"Only in private."  
  
"You're blushing, Luke."  
  
"Ah, you finally got it right. Only took four tries this time."  
  
"I'm a fast learner."  
  
Luke took out his order pad. "So can I get you anything, I mean that's food related?"  
  
"Um, a burger and an iced tea."  
  
"No coffee?"  
  
"No, Dr. Lieberman's got me on a strict program, but the iced tea is allowed. I'm afraid I'll never be able to return to the over caffeinated glory days of yore."  
  
Luke nodded. "I don't miss them. I like the new you."  
  
"So I've noticed."  
  
"I'll be right back." Luke went into the kitchen to give her order to Caesar. A minute later he returned to the counter with a glass of water.  
  
"So, I talked to Rory today."  
  
"How is she?"  
  
"Busy. She's thinking of minoring in Psych. She also mentioned that it's parent's weekend on the 20th. I'm gonna go see her and I think Jess is planning as well."  
  
"Yeah, he mentioned that. I think I can survive without him for the weekend."  
  
"Speaking of surviving for the weekend, I wanted to ask if you'd like to come with me to Yale."  
  
Luke was surprised. "You want me to come to parents' weekend?"  
  
Lorelai nodded. "Yes, I'm inviting you to come with me. What do you say?"  
  
"I don't know. With Jess away, I can't leave Caesar here by himself. And I don't know if I'd feel comfortable. I mean I'm not a parent, and it's called parent's weekend..."  
  
Lorelai rolled her eyes. "Because it's for parents, hence the name. Come on Luke, it will be fun. There'll be all sorts of activities and Rory would like to see you. Why not close the diner for a weekend? So you'll lose some revenue. Wouldn't you like to get away for a couple of days with your fabulous and sexy girlfriend? We could get a nice room with my hotel association and parent's discount, it would cost next to nothing. And imagine the damage we could do to each other in a hotel...."  
  
Luke tried to imagine what he and Lorelai could do, this was no contest.  
  
"Okay, let's do it. But no throwing TV's out the window or vomiting on the carpet. And no groupies."  
  
"Killjoy. Oh, Luke this will be so much fun. What made you cave so easily?"  
  
"The discount. Oh and I would like to see Rory, I haven't seen her in weeks."  
  
"And?"  
  
He smirked at her. "That's it. Hey, let me check on your burger."  
  
Lorelai threw her napkin at him but she missed. It didn't matter anyway, she knew why Luke said yes.  
  
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Two weeks later, Lorelai and Luke were walking on the Yale campus. They had just checked into their hotel and were coming to surprise Rory; they had made good time and were an hour early. Jess had driven up earlier that day - he said there was no way he was going to sit in the back of Lorelai's jeep while she and Luke bickered like a married couple about which was the quickest route to New Haven from Stars Hollow.  
  
They approached Rory's dorm, where several other pairs of parents were gathered, greeting their kids. Lorelai pulled on Luke's arm and stopped him.  
  
"Luke, I don't think we should surprise Rory."  
  
He gave her a puzzled look. "But this was your idea."  
  
She motioned to the parking lot next to the building. "See, does that car look familiar?"  
  
Luke nodded. Oh, that's Jess' car, so he's already here."  
  
"Yeah, so he and Rory are probably upstairs catching up."  
  
"Right." Luke still looked puzzled until it dawned on him what Lorelai meant. "Oh, I get it. You think they're having sex?"  
  
"I know they're having sex. I mean, Jess hasn't seen her in like a month and I don't want to repeat a scene from "American Pie 2."  
  
"Didn't see it."  
  
"Yeah, well I figured that. There's a scene where the Jason Biggs character's parents walk in on him having sex in his dorm room."  
  
"Yeah, I guess you're right, we probably shouldn't go up."  
  
"Hey, since we have an hour to kill, why don't we explore the campus and then come back here and take Rory and Jess to dinner at Hector's Tacos, as planned?"  
  
Luke put his arms around her. "Okay, although I had another idea on how we could kill an hour."  
  
Lorelai smiled and kissed him. "I bet you do, but we can do that later. And besides, I want to show you the garbage can where my dad proposed to my mom."  
  
Luke raised his eyebrows as Lorelai tugged on his hand. "A garbage can? How romantic."  
  
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Rory and Jess were lying on her in her dorm room, in various stages of undress.  
  
"So are you sure your roommate isn't going to walk in on us?"  
  
"Jill's having dinner with her folks. She has to break it to them that she's majoring in Art History and not Economics; she won't be back for hours."  
  
"You two should have some kind of system, though, like a sock, or a bra."  
  
"A bra, Jess? There's no way I'm hanging my lingerie on the door. Everyone would know what we're doing in here."  
  
"Well, when they hear your screams of passion, they'll know something's up."  
  
"Well, why don't you shut up already so we can get to that part?"  
  
Jess gave Rory a passionate kiss.  
  
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"Where is that damn garbage can? This place looks different in the dark. Damn daylight savings time. Whose brilliant idea was to make it pitch dark at 5PM?"  
  
"I believe it was the farmers. So, you can't find it. We can look tomorrow." He sat down on a bench and Lorelai sat next to him.  
  
"But tomorrow will be too late - we have all of these events to go to tomorrow. Lectures, campus tours, a Whiffenpoof performance. My dad was one of those..."  
  
"What the hell is a Whiffenpoof? Some kind of gay fraternity?"  
  
"No, an all male a cappella singing group. Very popular, from what I hear. I think my mom fell for my dad because he was a singing stud."  
  
"So both your folks went to Yale?"  
  
"No, just my dad. My mom went to a nearby women's college. Apparently she stole my father away from another woman."  
  
"Really? The scandal."  
  
"Yeah, my mother: the harlot in a blue dress." Lorelai chuckled. "It was so sweet to see them reminisce about their courtship. They've been together for nearly 40 years and they're still in love. As much as I like to grouse about my relationship with my parents, that's the one thing that I really admire about them. They've managed to stay together and make it work."  
  
"Yeah, that's an accomplishment. Hey, have you ever told them that?"  
  
"That I admire their marriage? No, never. They'd somehow turn it around on me and tell me that I my relationships barely last 40 days, never mind 40 years."  
  
"Well, we've made it past 40 days; hell I think we're in the 80s."  
  
"Oh, Luke. Have you been counting?"  
  
He looked sheepish. "Yeah, I have. It's been 85 days."  
  
"How sweet and slightly creepy. Hey, what about the hours and seconds?" Lorelai teased.  
  
She then paused. "Luke, do you think you and I could ever be like my parents? Not the judgmental and controlling part, but the stay together for a lifetime part?"  
  
Luke turned to her and noticed she had a very serious look on her face, something he didn't see too often.  
  
"It's only been 85 days, like I said. But I wouldn't mind spending the next 85 years with you."  
  
"Wow, are you sure? That's a really long time. You might get really sick of me."  
  
"Maybe, but I doubt it. I love you, Lorelai." Luke's voice was quiet and sincere.  
  
"I love you, too." She put her arms around him and gave him a sweet and loving kiss.  
  
Suddenly, Lorelai's cell phone rang. Luke cursed. "Damn thing."  
  
Lorelai fished in her purse. "Hello?"  
  
She heard Rory's voice on the other end. "Mom, Jess and I are ready to go to dinner. Do you want to meet us at the dorm or at Hector's?"  
  
"Oh, Luke and I will meet you at Hector's. Say in about 15 minutes?"  
  
"Great, see you then."  
  
A/N: I think I'll end it here, unless the muse strikes. Forgive me for not putting more R/J but this story is an L/L..... 


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